Yesterday, much to my surprise, I blew up a bit. Well, a lot for me. I'm not too sure why, or maybe I don't really want to know why. Sometimes, it seems as if I have no control over my life. No, it's not quite that. Sometimes, I lose control of my life. The first statement gives the implication that I had no way to keep control. But I do. It's my responsibility, and if I lose control then I have no one to blame but myself.

There is so much I have to do and I juggle my schedule so that I can get as much done as possible. Sometimes I don't anticipate everything, nor leave enough slack to account for unexpected delays. And yesterday I totally blew it. At the start of the start of the morning I had everything laid out and planned. But I felt a bit lazy so I used up my slack time relaxing, and when the inevitable hiccup happened that really messed everything up.

But that has happened before. I don't let it bother me. Life happens and I have always tried to roll with the ups and downs. I suppose I'm getting old, or tired, or maybe it's all catching up to me. It's not like my problems are worse than anyone else's, and I've been really quite lucky. So I have to try to keep things in perspective and enjoy life.

I just watched The Siege on cable. It's hard for me to imagine a scenario where we would use the military against American citizens. There are already laws in place that forbid the use of military forces in civilian operations. Our military is not trained to operate in a heavily urbanized environment, especially if civilian casualties have to be kept to zero. That and the FBI is capable of handling our domestic security.

It's starting to rain again. The last week has been mostly sunny with occassional rain. This may bode ill for our road trip to Iowa. I'm thinking that getting over the mountains will be hard if it's snowing. But once again, I shouldn't worry, well handle it when the time comes.

This writing stuff has gotten harder over the last few days as I run out of stuff to write about. There's only so much I can write about my life, boring as it is currently and in the past. I've gone over many of my personal beliefs, and looking at current events is just kind of repetitive since I'm just saying how I'd handle it with according to my beliefs.

I'm going to England next September. Plenty of time to prepare. Hopefully by then I'll be able to get a nice digital camera to replace my current one. I need something that can handle action shots, people playing sports and such. Current consumer cameras are not quite there, and professional cameras are both expensive and not designed for a beginner to use.

This is not a trip I eagerly anticipate. I still don't like to travel, especially to a foreign country. There's just a lot of preparation and trouble. But it's something I need to do, some- times a hobby is really more trouble than it's worth. But once I decide to support something, everything is sort of automatic and perhaps predictable.