Last night I got home at 00:30, after a hard day at work setting up Java Server Pages support in Apache, and bringing it up to Oracle standards. Did my usual: stayed up and watched my tapes until about 04:30 and went to sleep. This went on for a couple of hours as my doorbell rang at 06:30 and I had already answered the door before it registered that it was so early. A couple of Concord's Finest here to see if I had been doing anything tonight.

A little confusing, especially since they were asking about my car. Where is it? Downstairs. Didn't see it. Oh, let's go look... Darn, it's not there. So you didn't let someone borrow your car? No. Nobody has any keys? No. Anything you want to tell us? No, can't think of anything. You're surprisingly calm. Well, nothing I can do about it now (and I was still a bit groggy). Guess we should fill out a stolen auto report. Ok.

And an hour later I was back asleep. The police officers were quite nice. There had been a crime committed at a business, and my tire warranty document had been found there, hence why the police came by. One officer filled out the report, asking me lots of questions about my car. Too bad it's such a plain car. No damage, no stickers, nothing to make it stand out in a crowd of Tauruses. Hopefully they'll be able to recover it soon.

Anyway, so I woke up. Kind of depressed but not histerical. It's a nice car, but I can get another one (though it would be a financial drain at this time). But losing the car itself doesn't really make me mad, just kind of sad. Having to go through the trouble of reporting this to my insurance company, then getting a rental long term, then maybe having to get another car. It's just all a lot of work that I don't want to do. Never mind what my parents will say when they find out. Just very inconvenient for a guy who's basically a slug.

21st Century Insurance, who used to be 20th Century Insurance but I suppose they didn't want to seem old-fashioned since they changed their name about a month ago, has a nice web site form to submit a claim. That was just so I could report the loss; I also need to know how to get reimbursement for the rental. The limit is $25 a day, which covers an economy. I was thinking of renting a Taurus, but that would be $20 a day for me, which over a month would be a lot.

So I have the philosophy that insurance is for emergencies, the stuff that you absolutely can't afford to pay for. Why would I try to get reimbursement, this should be a cost that I can bear myself. And technically I can, if I sell some of my stocks, or all of the ones that I can, then I can easily get another car. So in this case it's not as if the insurance is going to keep me out of some unbearable debt.

This conflicts with another philosophy. All that stock is in my "I'll never see it again" fund. The money that's automatically deducted from my paychecks is money that I should never touch, and if I die soon, will never touch. There are a couple of ways I can reconcile using the insurance. It's not my fault, unlike my car accident which I believe was my fault. It all boils down to that I really don't want to max out my credit cards again, not when I'm so close to finally paying them off.

Life is full of surprises. And this is one of them. It's going to be interesting whether this will change my outlook on life, my basic belief that you can't live in fear. Worst comes to worst, I guess I'll get another Taurus, since it's such a fine car. I wonder how much it's worth? A '93 Taurus with 143k miles, although it's mostly highway driving. If it was my PowerBook I'd already have ordered a replacement, but a car has a better chance to be retrieved. And it does cost more than a computer. Oh, well. We'll see what the Goddess has planned.