I love my parents. I really do. And yet going home is always a bit of a trial. Admittedly, today was not that bad, though there is still the rest of the weekend. First off, driving the 76 miles to Sacramento took longer than usual. It being Labor Day weekend, the roads were crowded with traffic. I knew I should have left last night, but I was tired and I wanted to get a couple of things done Saturday before I left. An hour and a quarter drive took me two and a half hours to complete, and although I do like driving, I didn't bring that much music.

I always say a bit too much around my parents. I really shouldn't. I'm not financially responsible and there are many things that I do that they don't approve of and really it wouldn't hurt them if they didn't know. But I'm too talkative nowadays so I blurt out too much. For example, today I gave mom two checks and Steph three checks to cover payments from the loans that I owe each of them. Mom wonders if I have enough money. I say yes. Even after the vacation. Even after giving Chris $1000. What?!? Oops, said too much. Now she's upset that I gave my own brother money because my brother will end up spending it. Like I won't do the same thing.

And then my sister gets mad at me for setting off mom and dad. I'm not too sure what happened with our relationship there. We used to fight all the time when we were kids. Then we weren't in the same school for a few years and we got out into the workforce and the relationship got better. But now Steph gets mad at me a lot. I half suspect that she's mad because I get into it with mom and dad whereas she sublimites those conflicts. Maybe she envies me that I can do that and she can't. For whatever reason, it means that the only person who I look forward to seeing when I go home is my brother Chris, and he spends all his time with his friends or playing on his Playstation 2.

My sister Stephanie had a tape of Trading Spaces that she was watching. It's a television show on The Learning Channel, which should give you some clues about what it's about. Two people (or couples or whatever) each get to redecorate one room of the other's house, with a budget of $1000. Each team gets the services of a interior decorator for advice and guidance and there's a handyman available for both teams to use. It's not really a contest or anything like that. They get two days to remodel the rooms and make them look good. Interesting show, in a sort of "I long to buy a house" sort of way.

Another drawback to going home is that I get really bored here. There's no cable television and Sacramento doesn't have as many broadcast stations as the Bay Area (though Concord is not that great a place to get broadcast tv). No high-speed Internet access and it's not always-on either. I just read and play Angband, but I can only do so much of that before I start going stir- crazy. I go out to see movies with my brother, but otherwise I hang around and do very little. I suppose that would be relaxing, if my parents weren't constantly harrassing me. And ever since I went to college, every time I come home I get sleepy easily.

Not that I really mind going home. I do like seeing my parents and my two siblings. And the food is great -- I can't cook as well as my dad. Kooma is visiting, though she strangely tends to keep to herself, watching educational television and reading in the family room. I guess we're not a close family. Sort of distant and formal at times. But it's how I grew up so it's not like I regret anything.

Good grief Chris has a lot of CD-Rs. He's getting to be a regular pirate. That's kind of disappointing. I can understand a bit how parent must feel, trying to make sure their kids don't make the same dumb mistakes they made. But kids have to make those mistakes. At that age, you just don't believe that what you're doing is wrong. We're taught to question everything, so we do. So I can tell Chris not to pirate software (and he pretty much doesn't -- it's audio and video that he pirates, so I guess he obeys the letter of my advice if not the spirit) but he's gotta do what he thinks is right.

Kooma is coming back next April and Steph wants to take her to some cultural events. She's going to take her to a performance of the San Francisco Ballet while I get to take her to a performance of the San Francisco Symphony. The San Francisco Opera is off-season during April. Ballet or symphony. Not much of a choice really. At least the symphony I can just listen and sort of enjoy it. Ballet seems awfully boring to me. Trying to tell a story through dance and music but no words -- what a turn-off. I would have preferred the opera.