From: Autumn Robertson <hudsons_rat_girl@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri Jul 02, 1999  07:10:16  US/Pacific
To: hleickables@onelist.com
Subject: [hleickables] Heresy vs Rat Girl, round 1
Reply-To: hleickables@onelist.com

From: Autumn Robertson <hudsons_rat_girl@yahoo.com>


Okay, you talked me into it!  Well, actually, no one has yet, I'm just
really bored, so um this is the date:  Sat, 14 Feb  1998

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~wavy flashback lines~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Spoiler of 7th Heaven in this, you have been warned.  Please get out
your little baggies, this is going to be a worose flight then 285!)

evil giggle





last chance

Rat Girl sit's in her cave, watching the last scene of 7th Heaven that
Hudson was in.  Little Hudson, as usual, is crawling all over her.

Mom:  IT might just be the light, but he looks older to me.

A:  Ahh, how sweet (believe me when I say that was sarcastic) <punches
the rewind button.> <muttering>  doesn't even have ONE rat in it
<presses play>

SimonL...She HATESme-

Ms. Hunter:  <knocks on door>

A:  HA, stupid kid, that's TWICE now that she's caught you.  DIE DIE
DIE!

Ms. Hunter:  That's a great way to be.  <smiles>

A: <screams>  the-that was the *gulp*  Callisto grin.  Oh, your going
to get it now!

GC: <poof>  (Ixion cave whisper)  Autumn, Autumn, where are you

A:  here, goddess, have you seen the newest bit of work Hudson did?

GC:  NO, I'm a goddess, I don't watch tv.

A:  Uh-huh.  Well, here, let me show it to ya, it'll be my <light bulb
appears over head>  my valentines gift to ya!

GC:  <stares suspiously.>

A: <rewinds the tape again, this time, to the very beginging, so that
Callisto will know what's goin on.>

About 2 hours later (and a couple vists from trancer)  The goddess
stands up and stretches.

GC:  Thank you, Rat Girl, that was most entertaining.  Good, wholesome
family tv.  I should make everybody in Cerria watch it every week, to
spread the heart warming joy!

A:  <thinks quickly before a lynch mob comes to her cave>  Well, I, I
know you likes the heads on the wheel part, Goddess, but they were just
doll heads, they weren't real...

GC:  <eyes narrowing>  What?

A:  And that whole "family unity" just a crock, real families aren't
like that, they don't get teary eyed of an average 5 times a day.

GC:  And there really aren't brothers who'll give up twenty dates to a
dance just so he cam be a wall flower with his sister?  *sob*

A:  No, and that girls attitude, she usually isn't like that, she's
usually...sweet.  *shudder*

GC:  What a horrible cheesy show <sniffle, regains composure>  I now
ban 7th HEaven from Cerria.  You can only watch the three scenes of
Hudson, that is all.  Consider that my gift to you, Rat Girl. <she
turns, sags her shoulders in defeat, bites her lip emotionally, then
turns back>  You mean, it;s almost impossible for first graders to get
lost on field trips, and the bus wouldn't leave without them if the
_did_ get lost?

A:  <ducks head sadly>  No, it's all fake, all Fabricated.  I'm sorry,
Goddess.

GC:  Me to, rat girl, me to...<poof>

A:  phew, that was a close one.  Alright Hudson 9uh, the little Hudson,
not HUdson Hudson), lets watch a little of TBAA, hmm?

Will I ever learn?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cut to Heresy's response to the above CRS (I hope you don't mind
Heresy...wait, yes I do!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Heresy waits in his office after a very slow day...

HE: <looking at watch>  You'd think she's be a little more punctual...

GC:  <materializes> You wanted to see me?

HE:  Yes, I did, as a matter of fact, Goddess.

GC:  That's a first.

HEL  What is, Goddess?

GC:  Someone actually *requesting* my prescence.

HE:  Well, it's kind of important. <holds up a micrecassette recorder
and presses play>

.GC:  WHat a horrible cheesy show <sniffle, regains composure.>  I now
ban 7th Heaven from Cerria.

GCL  So what?  I banned the show from town.  Wait a minute?  You were
spying?

HE:  I always spy on future patients, you know...to get to know
them...and what makes them squirm.  Anyway, if you're banning the show,
does that mean I can't play it in my new waiting room?\

GC:  Oh, I forgot about you.  OK, you can still show 7th Heaven, but
only for the purpose of keeping your patients 'entertained.'

HE: Thanks, Goddess, you're the best! Oh, and her's your Calentine's
girt.  <Pulls a sheet off the dentist's chair, to reveal a
fully-prepped Rat Girl>  For *your* entertainment.  I'd gathered enough
information, so after you left, I though 'what the hell', and reached
for my trusty chloroform.

GC:  Oh, it's wonderful!  Best gift yet!  Do I get to chose the
procedure?

HE:  What do you desire?

GC:  How about removing her wisdom teeth?

HE:  Popcorn?

GC: <getting comfortable> Please.

HE:  Shouting through to the hallway>  IGGY!!  Popcorn for the
Goddess!!

IG:  Oook! <Translation: "I will fetch it right away!">

HE:  Right, now where was I?  Oh, yes! <reaches for his lucky scapel>

<The details of what happened during the next few hours are too
horrible to divulge...>

**
Heresy +
Cirran family dentist
and the holder of the only 7th Heaven viewing lisence in Cirra (for
torture purpouses only)
**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~wavy flash forward lines~~~~~~~~~~~

There you have it. The begining of a fued that would last till modern
times.  I'm Autumn Robertson, for the New Cirra History channel.  Good
night now!

Autumn
===
Keeper of the Rats
President-Club Pain
sworn enemy of Heresy and the VC
worshiper of Callisto
Lady Callisto's sidekick

==============================================================================

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This page last updated: July 4, 2001.