From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Sat Feb 27, 1999  04:28:35  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] <CRS> Descend into ...   Part I
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)


Just thought I'd try my hand at a longer skit ....

_____________________________________________________________

SCENE: Goddess Callisto sits in her temple, all alone now that both
her High Priestess and Priest left. She has her leg swung over the
armsupport of her throne and is playing with her dagger. An obvious
look of boredom is on the Godess' face.

GC: What to do ... what to do ? Lets see.

<GC grabs a papyrus scroll which just miraciously lays next to her and
reads it>

GC: <Reading from scroll> 'Things to do for a rainy day'

GC: 'a) Become a god' ... Been there.

GC: 'b) Kick crap out of Ares, God of war. ... Done that.

GC: 'c) Kill Xena's loved ones.' ... Doesn't work.

<Suddenly the Goddess' eyes light up. In an instant, she disappears
from her temple, off on a new mission ... >

..........

SCENE: Wight lies in tomb, sleeping like a baby ... or maybe like a
dead man.

<GC appears in a flash of fire, burning the already blackened tomb a
bit further>

W: <waking up> Yawn, no mammy, I didn't kill daddy. <suddenly sees
Callisto. Jumps up> Oooops. You didn't hear that, ok ? 

GC: Whatever. Wight, I need you to do something for me.

W: <bowing down, seeing a nice opportunity to suck up to his Goddess>
Oh, anything great and mighty Callisto, your wish is my command, just
tell me what you want. The slaying of a great hero perhaps, or maybe
you want me to summon forth an army of demons. Or perhaps I can try to
engulf this world in an eternal night ... Or if you'll allow me, I
could ...

GC: <getting bored again> I need you to summon a dog from the
underworld.

W: A dog ??????!!!!!

GC: That's right, a dog. See, when I was a small girl, we used to have
this beautiful black dog. I'd like to see it again.

W: <a little surprised> I suppose I could do that. Do you have the
body ??

GC: <shakes head>

W: Errr, I'm a necromancer, not a conjuror. I need bodies to work
with. No body, no dog, sorry. <Thinks about writing an letter to the
necromancers guild to do some more publicity>

GC: Can't you summon people or animals directly from the realms of the
death.

W: Nope. That was manual five: 'How to completely screw up someone's
day in the Underworld.' I never quite got there. I got stuck in book
IV: "Sometimes it pays to do good." Never could quite figure that out.

GC: So you don't have the power.

W: Well, you see, it's like this ..

GC: You don't have the power.

W: <not wanting to admit> Not exactly, if I could just ...

GC: Have the power you'd be able to do it.

W: No, it's not a matter of power, it's a matter of ...

GC: Power !

W: <giving up> Ok, I don't have the power. There, happy now, excuse me
while I fall into another depression.

GC: That's not a problem. <GC raises hand, zaps Wight with a blessing
which temporarily adds 10 levels, ... ooops, that's AD&D ... which
temporarily raises Wight's magical ability.>

W: Whoa, awesome, cool, great, groovy, neat, far-out ...

GC: <smacks Wight across the face>

W: Uhhh, ouch, why did you do that.

GC: You were suffering from temporary insanity.

W: Huh ?

GC: The dog, remember. Summon the dog !!

W: Right. What's its name ?

GC: <surprisingly hesitant> Why do you need its name ?

W: I can't just summon every dog that ever died, right. I need to find
the right one, unless you want to turn New Cirra in a petting zoo.

GC: <Moves head from one shoulder to the other, thinking about that
possibility, but then finally admits>. Floofie.

W: What ?

GC: Floofie.

W: What's a floofie ?

GC: The dog's name you idiot. It's called Floofie.

W: <bursts out in laughter> Who calls her dog Floofie !!!

<Suddenly a great big jet of flame spreads over Wight's body and turns
him into ashes> 

GC: I WAS STILL YOUNG OK !!!

W: <a pile of ashes on the ground>. Floofie is good !! Great name !!
Very original !! Matter of fact, if I had a dog, I'd name it Floofie
too !!

GC: Right, now just shut up and summon the dog.

W: <Eeeuhh, I need hands>

<GC zaps pile of ashes, two hands grew from it, but nothing else>

W: Eeerr, I could use a body as well ?

GC: Oh ok. <turns Wight back into his old self> There, happy now.

W: Yes oh mighty Goddess. <Wight starts casting raise dead spell,
arcane energies get summoned into the tomb and a dimensional door to
the realms of the death opens.>

W: Kewl !! I never could quite manage that before !!

<Through the black gate, a little black poodle jumps through, it barks
happily and wags its tail as it sees Callisto standing there>

GC: Floofie !! It's so good to see you again.

<GC points hand and barbecues the animal, effectively turning it into
a hot dog>

W: What ??!!! Why did you do that.

GC: <shrugs> I hated the little mongrel, it bit me once. Always wanted
to make it pay.

W: Duh !!!

GC: That's it for today, see you later <GC disappears, leaving Wight
stunned and alone>

..........

W: <after a little while> Wait a second, I'm still blessed !! I better
take advantage of that while it lasts. 

<Wight starts casting spell, however, as usual, greatly overestimates
his own powers. A new dimensional door opens, but instead of something
being pulled out Wight is sucked in and disappears ... >

.........

A little later ...

SCENE: Goddess Callisto sits in her temple, all alone now that both
her High Priestess and Priest left. She has her leg swung over the
armsupport of her throne and is playing with her dagger. An obvious
look of boredom is on the Godess' face.

GC: Hmm, actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'd really love to
give that damn cat Plooyie a piece of my mind as well. Maybe I should
visit Wight again.

<GC teleports over to Wight's tomb. Finds it empty. Teleports over to
the graveyard next, finds that empty as well>

GC: Something is wrong !! One of my followers is trying to escape me
!!

Immediately, GC visits the police office and spreads a bulletin to all
people ...

- By Command of the Goddess, volunteers needed for a mission -
- Objective: To bring back the body of one Wight, dead or alive -
- Necessary skills: None-
- Target Area: To be determined-
- Failure to volunteer: Punishable by Death-
- To Sign up for the mission come to Callisto's Temple-
- Oh, and bring a broom, the place hasn't been cleaned in a while-

_________________________________________________________ 

End of Part I


So, anyone interested in being in a skit. Email me privately. Don't
make me pick volunteers from the CRS list <g>

-Wight-

==============================================================================

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Mon Mar 01, 1999  08:22:57  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] <CRS> Descent into ... part II
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)


Errr, part II, I think that about covers it :)

__________________________________________________________

SCENE: New Cirra, it's night, and the streets or dark and deserted.
Yet not completely. An unearthly wail suddenly breaks the silence,
then two shadows are seen running through the houses and over the
abandonned streets. They disappear into the dark ...

..........

SCENE: Early morning. A stylishly dressed thief creeps out of a large
richly decorated manor, holding a blue sapphire in hand. His moustache
and green garments immediately give him away as none other then
Autolycus, the king of thieves.

A: <to the sapphire> Oh yeah baby ! Where've you been all my life. One
thing is sure, this is love at first sight. It almost seems like a
shame to take you away from another guy, but then again, he never
really cared about you anyway <g>.

<The wind carries a white pamphlet straight into the thief's path.>

A: And what have we here. 'Command of Goddess' ... 'Volunteers
needed.' ... 'Bring back one Wight.' ... <sudden inspiration befalls
Autolycus>

A: Say, ... I wonder what I can get for those spell-books that *thing*
always keeps around. Might be a dinar or two in this.

<Pocketing the saphire, which almost seemed to shine less brightly at
its sudden loss of attention, Autolycus walks back towards New Cirra
where a new heist will take place>

..........

SCENE: Jenn H. wakes up in her house, very early in the morning.
Nothing peculiar is at hand, at least, not yet ...

J: <At the top of her lungs> GOOD MORNING NEW CIRRA !!!

<the curses that followed, heard from all over town cannot be repeated
here without turning this skit into a (18+) one, but needless to say
the rest of Cirra's villagers seemed rather irritated all day. Though
I've been assured from reliable sources that the incident concerning
rotten eggs and mushy tomatoes was just that, an unfortunate
incident>.

J: Lalala. I feel particularly energetic today. <Jenn runs down the
stairs to the front door. Looking out, she finds a little piece of
paper lying in front of the door>

J: Look, I've got mail <images of Tom Hanks run through her mind>. Oh
wait, this is something else ... 'Goddess, come to temple, bring
broom'. I'm there ! Anything to please my Goddess. 

<Quickly, Jenn grabs a broom labeled: 'keep for special occasion' and
runs out, her destination: The Goddess' temple>

..........

SCENE: Brian S. lies in bed, sleeping soundly. A sudden yell from
somewhere far away (read, Jenn's house) wakes him up rather forcefully
..

BS: By my grandmother's testicles !! (ed.: trust me, it's a long story
and you really don't want to know)

<Brian looks around, but there is no one to be seen. Blinking a few
times, he gets out of bed. From the look on his face, it is obvious
he's in a sour mood>

BS: Can't a person get a decent night's sleep in this time ! First
there was that wail thing somewhere in the night, and now this. And
only yesterday, I could've sworn I heard someone yell: 'Here pinky
winky' followed by a loud scream (ed.: for those of you wondering,
Griller was trying to seduce the Goddess again).

BS: That's it. Someone has to stand up to this. I don't mind that the
rest of this town in a little odd. I don't even mind that some of them
are completely nuts, but mess with my beauty sleep and you'll be one
sorry ......

<Brian grabs nearest weapon, which just happens to be an old rusty
chainsaw, and walks off towards the horizon>

..........

SCENE: Early morning (still), Eliot comes home after a long night of
secrecy and stife. He throws down his hat, and the garlic, and the
holy water, and the silver, and all the crosses, and his holy book,
and his fluffy rabbit feet, and his photo album of the Spice Girls,
... ooops, scratch that last one.

E: Another vampire slain, another fiend less to worry about. <In his
hand, he holds a wooden stake>. Just me and my thrusty buddy here,
that's all there'll be left when I'm done.

<A white piece of papyrus has mysteriously found it's way to Elliot's
table>

E: Huh ? What's this. 'Bring back one Wight ... Dead.' ... Not moving
you mean. 'Sign at Goddess' temple.'

E: Oooh, I always knew that undead creature was trouble. Think they
can just come in here and take over the place eh ? Well, the only good
skeleton is a dead skeleton ! 

E: <grabs hat, and garlic, and holy water, and the silver, and all the
crosses, and his holy book, and his fluffly rabbit feet, and the photo
album of the Spice ... whoops, my bad>

E: Undead parasites, here comes trouble !!

<Eliot leaves his house a minute before the paramedics, holding a nice
white straightjacket come calling.>

..........

SCENE: The Goddess' temple. The two heavy doors swing open to grant
our party, all four of them happen to arrive at the temple at exactly
the same time, access. Inside, a strange shadow flees out of the
sunlight. Goddess Callisto sits on her throne, patiently waiting ...

<Jenn runs in, pushing the others out of the way to be first. She
kneels down before the Goddess and bows her head in respect.>

J: Goddess Callisto. I came as soon as I heard you needed volunteers.
I want to sign up. I want to sign up. Please please please let me sign
up.

<GC gives Jenn a questioning look, which seemed to say: "What did you
eat this morning ?>

The rest walks in too. 

GC: Ahh, volunteers for the mission. So good of you all to come. 

BS: <looking rather surprised> Eeeehhh, I didn't ...

GC: It's good to know I have such loyal servants I can count on when I
need them.

BS: <a little less sure> Well, yeah, but in truth I came here to ...

GC: I mean, imagine what I'd have to do if no one had turned up. By
Tartarus, I wouldn't like to be in here if you're not volunteering.
You were saying Brian ?

BS: <gulp> Err, nothing. I volunteer. Damn sure. I came as soon as I
heard. Why else what I be here. No sir-ee, volunteering, that's what
I'm here for, you betcha. Nothing else.

GC <to Jenn> Has he been taking those pills again ?

Autolycus walks up to the trio, yet stops when he notices Brian's
chainsaw. He suddenly becomes rather thoughtful.

E: Hey Auto, you ok.

A: <shaking it off> Oh yeah. I just had a rather strange vision about
a wooden cabine somewhere in the middle of nowhere and choping my
girlfriend to bits. Nothing unusual ... I get that all the time.

E: <backing off> O...K...

GC: Well, now that you're all here, it's about time I tell you how to
go about your mission, hmm ? <GC points to one of the corners of the
temple. There, a small shadow hovers above the floor. It seems sad, ..
for a shadow that is>

J: What's that ?

GC: It's Squeacky, Wight's little shadow pet. I found it running
around New Cirra tonight. It was looking for its master.

BS: Man, and I thought someone was torturing a cat or something.

GC: I don't know why, but I think it has some sort of magical bond to
Wight. It might be able to bring you to wherever that undead
troublemakes has escaped to. All you have to do is folllow Squeaky,
and bring back Wight. Right after you finish cleaning my temple, that
is.

A: What ?!

E: Huh ?!

BS: Excuse me ?!

GC: It was on the note: I told you to bring a broom. I hope you all
did just that, I wouldn't want to be you if you don't.

E: Oh-oh !

BS: Does a chainsaw count ?

<Jenn steps forward, grinning broadly.>

J: See Goddess, I, as your loyal servant, did exactly as you said and
brought my own very special ... <Before Jenn has a chance to finish
that sentence, she looks at her hand and finds it completely empty>

J: WHAT !!???

A: <grinning> Yep, I brought a broom. Always knew that would come in
handy some day. 

GC: <nods to Autolycus, looks angry at the rest> Well, what about you
?

J+BS+E: I can explain !!

GC: <shakes head> Oh, do I have to do everything myself in here.
Luckily at least someone did as they were told <Auto starts to beam
with pride>. Well, I suppose the rest of you can start on your
mission, right after Autolycus finishes cleaning my temple on his own.

A: WHAT !!!!!!

J: <starts grinning broadly> Yes my Goddess.

...........

SCENE: Six hours later, Autolycus leaves, completely black from all
the dust and cowebs that had collected in the temple since the
disappearance of both the High Priestess and Priest. Outside, the rest
of the party is sitting in the sun, relaxing and enjoying the cool
summer breeze.

J: Hey auto !! How did you like the broom ...

<After another censored violent scene, don't try this at home kids,
the party is ready to leave. Squeaky is brought to the front of the
temple and begins to sniff around. After a minute or so, the shadow
creature leaves in a seemingly random direction, taking the party with
it to a new adventure ...>

End of part II ....

______________________________________________________________


Next, eeeuuhhmm, ... part III I guess.

-Wight-

==============================================================================

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Thu Mar 04, 1999  10:25:43  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] <CRS> Descent into ... part III
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)


WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE:
________________________

Goddess Callisto: I cast a blessing on Wight to allow him to summon my
dog which I then promptly incinerated. 

Wight: I tried to use that blessing for my own power and got sucked
into a dimensional hole ..

Goddess Callisto: I wanted to 'do' my cat as well, but Wight was gone,
so I sent a team after them.

Autolycus + Jenn + Brian + Eliot: "We are the team."

Autolycus: I just wanted to steal Wight's arcane tomes.

Jenn: If the Goddess needs me, I'm there !!

Brian: <looking back at the Goddess standing beside him> I came to
volunteer. No, really !

Eliot: There's undead slaying to be done !!

Goddess: Oh yeah, and Autolycus was kind enough to clean my entire
temple for me.

Jenn: <grins broadly>

Squeaky: Squeeek Squeeek Squueeek Squeeek.

Brian: Oh yeah, we were supposed to follow that thing <points at
Squeaky>. It can lead us to its master ...


AND NOW ... The next part.

( From somewhere off the scene: Cut !! You're fired, you're supposed
to put the intonation on 'the next part' you idiot !!)

______________________________________________________

<SCENE: Autolycus, Jenn, Brian and Eliot are walking the streets of
Cirra, following the shadow creature Squeaky on its quest to rejoin
its master. In the distance, they see Leicky and another person moving
towards them>

J: Hey !! Leicky. Good to see you.

L: Oh, hey guys. Long time no see. What are you up to ?

J: We're on a mission for the Goddess, we're searching Wight who has
gone missing.

BS: Hey Leicky, where have you been ? Autolycus could've used you at
the temple.

BS + E + J all at once: <laughter>

L : Goddess had me running an errant. Something about a Plooyie,
whatever that may be. She ordered me to go find someone who could
reanimate corpses.

<Leicky looks at the man with her>

L: Guys, and girl, may I present you ... Dr. Frankenstein !!

DrF: Greetings all.

E: <suspiciously> You can reanimate corpses ??

DrF: Yeah, that's right. You see, I discovered that the usage of
electric current, in it's negative form, when unleashed upon the human
anatomy through a viable conduter, if said anatomy is not yet too much
affected by the entropic forces in the universe, which we can
determine by measuring the atomic decay of the particels of said
anatomy, placed under the extreme conditions in an organicly based
liquid which diffuses into the nervous system, can bring about the
reanimation of said anatomy with a correlation effect between pre and
post cognitive functions of zero point eighty eighty....  

E: <blank stare>

J: <blank stare>

BS: <blank stare>

Auto: <picking DrF's pockets> <blank stare>

L: <blank stare> Oh great, all the trouble I went through for nothing.
This won't work at all. Hey guys, how about I join you on your
mission.

J: That's great.

E: Another hand to wield a wooden stake.

A: Another pocket to pick ... Ooops, did I say that out loud ?

L: Ok, lets get out of here.

<All five party members take off, leaving Dr Frankenstein all alone>

DrF: But ... but ... but ... but ... Oh damn, I liked it better when I
had a lynch mob to deal with. At least *they* believed in my work.

<Dr.Frankenstein walks away. After a few minutes, he suddenly runs
into Iggy, Heresy's assistant>

DrF: My god ... Igor !!! Where have you been all my life !!

Iggy: Ook ?

..........

<SCENE: Inside her temple, Goddess Callisto is watching the party
through a clairvoyance spell. She has a papyrus scroll in her hands
and is scribbling frantically. >

GC:  <writing: ... correlation effect between pre and post cognitive
functions zero point eighty eighty>  By myself !! It's really that
simple. I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier ...

<GC disappears in a flash of fire>

..........

<SCENE: The streets of Cirra. The party is still following Squeaky.
Suddenly, Autolycus stops>

A: Hey guys !! I just had an idea. Why don't we head over to Wight's
tomb first. Maybe be could consult those books of his.

E + J + BS + L: Why would we do that ?

A: Errr, well, ... maybe we could sell them and gain all of us a lot
of money ?

E: Good idea !!

J: Works for me.

BS: Why didn't you say so in the first place.

<The party turns left and starts walking to the cemetary. Squeaky
stops, turns around and if it wasn't a shadow you could've sworn you
saw it look like an airplane had just fallen on its head ..... in a
time when airplanes didn't even exist yet !>

<Some time passes, the party arrives at Wight's tomb, standing just
outside the cemetary>

E: This is it, the place of evil.

J: <Getting a bad feeling about this> It looks dark, and scary, and
unkept. Maybe we should just follow squeaky and leave this place be ?

BS: Yeah, besides, look at that bronze door, it's probably locked
thight anyway.

<The bronze door suddenly opens with a loud creak>

A: <holding lockpick in hand> You were saying ?

L: <pointing fearfully> Heh, guys, I hate to break up your little
discussion, but I think we have a problem.

<As soon as the door opens, two specters appear inside the dark
hallway which lead into the heart of Wight's tomb. They spot the party
and start to advance menacingly>

E: Fear not people, I shall these with these undead scum. <Using a
large mirror which he draws out of an impossibly small pocket, Eliot
directs the sunlight directly into the two specters. Without pauze, he
next produces two vials of holy water and throws them at the
apparitions>

<The two specters don't even look surprised>

Spectre I: Whoohoo, hoo, whooo, wooo, hoho, whooo.

Spectre II:  Ooohooo, wooowooo, woo, hoooowooo, woooho

<roughly translated: (Spectre I): Hey look, this idiot thinks we're
vampires. (Spectre II): Oh great, another one, you know, I'm really
getting fed up with this. (Spectre I): Yeah, I thought Wight was going
to contact the necromancers guild to set things straight. (Spectre
II): Just typical. You want something done, you gotta do it yourself.
(Spectre I): Ok, lets get out of here. I want to be back in time, got
a date with a ghost tonight. >

<Both Spectres turn around and take off>

E: See, I knew it. Gets them every time !! Lets go people.

<Everyone walks into the tomb. Autolycus lights a torch to keep the
growing darkness at bay. Where he gets it from, don't even ask.>

L: <in surprise> Aaaarrrrghhhh !!!

BS: <immediately on guard, but begins to laugh after a second or so.>
Oh, don't be scared, it's just a little spider.

L: Spider ?? I was looking at your face !

BS: <blank stare>

<After a little while, they reach the heart of Wight's tomb, where his
masoleum grave and experimentation table stands. On the table, a big
muscular zombie lies. Next to it are a heap of old and dusty
spellbooks>

A: That's it. Come to papa. <Walks over to the spellbooks> Lying
around here unprotected.

J: Carefull, it may be a trap !!

<Out of nowhere, Xena in Callisto's body appears> 

X: It is a trap, and Sysiphus has set it.

J+L+A+E+BS: Huh ????

X: Ooops, sorry, wrong universe. <Xena in Callisto's body disappears
as mysteriously as she arrived>

BS: <shaking head> Hey Leicky, you really ought to ask the Goddess to
make the laws of reality a little stricter.

L: Oh no !! Last time I tried that she froze me up in a big block of
ice, laughing maniacally: "Strict enough for that." I'm not doing that
again.

BS: <to himself> Damn, she remembered.

A: Ok, no traps. No monsters. No mysterious rifts in the fabric of
space. Great, that means: Here comes money !!!

<Autolycus tries to grab one of the tomes, but stops just before he
reaches it. The title of the book reads: Necronomicon.>

Auto: <In a deep state of deja vu > Errrr ...

L: <sees the book> Wait, maybe this'll tell me how to raise someone
from the death, that way I can return to the Goddess and still be on
time to watch the Vicky Pratt aerobics !!

<Leicky walks over to the Necronomicon, opens the book and starts to
read>

A: No wait, I just had a strange vision, we have to ...

L: <not listening> What's this. Ahh, got it. I just have to recite the
words: ...

A: NOOO !!!!

L: Clatu ... Verata ... Necto.

<A loud thunderstrike shakes the very foundation of Wight's tomb. The
party suddenly finds itself outside, in the graveyard, where a
nightmarish storm is about to unleash. Viscious lightning bolts flash
across the sky, dark clouds gather, eerie music plays on the
background. Then, every grave in the cemetary starts to shake as
slowly, omniously, a massive army of the death awakes, its only goal
to end life ... all life ... >

A: Oh no, not again ....

<Millions of skeletons and zombies rise from their graves. Ghosts
appear out of nowhere, undead carrior birds fly through the skies,
banshees wail in the distance, mighty undead liches come rolling in on
great bony chariots ... >

E: What have you done !! The horror, the evil. We have unleashed the
army of Darkness itself. We have plunged this world into the most
horrid and viscious war imaginable. We will be crushed by the forces
of the undead. Years and years of suffering will follow. Slowly, one
by one, our strongholds will fall and our warriors will die. We will
be helpless to prevent the tide of undead from spreading. For
generations upon generations we will fight fruitlessly against the
forces of Darkness. We are doomed !!!

<Out of nowhere, Goddess Callisto appears. She sees the army gathered
there and wipes them all out with one fireball>

GC: Anyone seen a dead cat here ?

E: <stunned>

GC: No ? Ok, nevermind, carry on with whatever you're doing. <GC
disappears>

L: Well, that's that. I'm going home. I'm not going to miss Vicky
Pratt tonight !! Anyone want to come ?

..............

<SCENE: A opressive, dark cave. Screams of torture resound through the
blackness. Horrid forms can be glimpes from the corner's of one's
eyes, yet never seen directly. Wails of insanity spread to the place
and hit like physical waves of force>

W: <bones shaking in fear> Errr, where am I ? This is not good. Well,
at least I know my Cirran friends are doing everything in their power
to rescue me as soon as humanly possible ...

..........

<SCENE: At Leicky's home, the party is watching Vicky Pratt's aerobics
from the comfort of their couch>

BS: Hey, hand me the pepsi will you.

J: And some more natcho's. Leickly, these things are good.

A: You know, I have this nagging feeling we're forgetting something
...

E: Yeah, we forgot to turn the tv's sound on !

A: Ahh, that's it ....


And so the night passes ...

______________________________________________________________

AND next, ... PART four

(from outside the scene: Cut !! You're fired, again. I can't believe
you are really such a moron !!)


-Wight-

==============================================================================

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Sun Mar 07, 1999  03:47:42  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] CRS: Descent into ... part IV
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)


TITLE: Descent into ...

EPISODE TITLE: Squeaky's path.

Starring:
---------------
GODDESS CALLISTO (GC) <*>

and

Autolycus (A)
Brian S. (BS)
Eliot (E)
Jenn H. (J)
Leicky (L)
Wight (W)

Guest appearances by:
-------------------------------------
Gerry (G)
The Bridgekeeper of Death (BOD)
Plooyie the Cat 
Squeaky the Shadow
Mimy the Shadow

PRODUCER:
--------------------
The Hudson Leick Mailing List

Writer:
---------
Non disclosed due to unfortunate accident with death threats and
bomb-packages.

SYNOPSIS:
------------------

Wight is trapped in ... well, somewhere. Will someone please rescue
the poor sob ?


<*> No threats of bodily harm were made to make Goddess Callisto's
name appear in bold. This was done entirely on our own account. No,
really.

________________________________________________________

<SCENE: Outside, it is a dark and stormy night. The trees creak loudly
with the wind running through their crowns. Lightning flashes streak
through the sky, and loud thunder keeps any sane being tugged away
safely in the comforts of their homes. Only the most unholy and evil
creatures lurk the night. >

<CAMERA ZOOMS IN: The a lone, gothic house standing in the middle of a
forest. It's stone gargoyles and dark outlook scare away all who come
near it. All but one ... >

<CAMERA ZOOMS IN FURTHER: Inside, in a large stone hall, an
assortiments of mechanical equipment, tubes and water tanks has been
placed. Amidst the metal contraptions, Goddess Callisto, wearing
safety goggles stands aside a large metal slab. A dead cat lies on the
metal slab.>

<CAMERA ZOOMS IN EVEN FURTHER: Next to the Goddess, a panel with
buttons and switches stands. The goddess holds one switch, looks up
through the open ceiling at the sky and throws the switch just as a
massive lightnint bolt streaks through the sky ... >

<CAMERA ZOOMS IN A LITTLE FURTHER THEN EVEN FURTHER: The lightning
bolts hits the top of the building, where a large antenna has been
placed, and discharges into the metal structure. Crackling flashes of
electricity race down into the building>

<CAMERA ZOOMS IN EVEN FURTHER THEN A LITTLE FURTHER THEN EVEN FURTHER:
The electrical current speeds down into the metal slab, causing havoc
to the corpse of the dead cat lying on it. The animal jerks twice,
then suddenly comes to live again, blinking its eyes as if it has been
sleeping>

Cat: Miauuw ??

GC: ITS ALIVE !!! <maniacle laughter>

<Unfortunately, as luck would have it a second lightnint bolt strikes
into the antenna, races down and incinerates Plooyie the cat before it
has a chance to move ... >

GC: NO !!!!!

..........

<SCENE: Leicky's home. The Vicky Pratt show has just ended, and the
party is ready to call it a night. Suddenly though, someone starts
rapping the front door, rather frantically ... >

Voice from outside: Help !! Help !! Please, someone, for the love of
Goddess, help me !!!

BS: <yawn> Hey Leicky, I think someone's at the front door.

L: <in Vicky Pratt haze>  ...

J: Oh, I'll get it. We're never going to get any sleep otherwise.

<Jenn walks over to the door and opens it. Before she has a chance to
react, Gerry literally falls inside and drops to the ground. Third
degree burns are all over his body, and he seems rather panicked>

J: Gerry ? You ok ? You look a little pale ?

G: <panting heavily> ... Goddess .... angry ... something about cat
... DO NOT GO OUT THERE ... it's torture I tell you, it's torture !!

A+J+L+BS+E: <suddenly remembering their mission, all look at each
other> OH OH !!

L: Err, Gerry, we have to go for a while. Look after my house for me
while I'm going, ok ?

G: It's murder ... it's hell ... 

L: Good boy.

<All party members get their coats and race out of the house as fast
as humanly possible>

G: Wha .... ?

<In a fearsome flash of fire, Goddess Callisto appears. She looks
furious, to say the least ... >

G: NOOOOOO !!!!

..........

<SCENE: Party is walking the streets of Cirra, searching Sqeaky and
pretending they did not hear the horrible screams coming from Leicky's
house>

E: Poor Gerry, I feel kinda bad, leaving him at the mercy of the
Goddess like that.

BS: Hey, would you rather have it was us ?

E: Good point.

J: You know, Gerry has to be the most unlucky guy ever. Do you guys
know how many times the Goddess has turned him to ashes already ?

L: Does anyone ? Can it even be counted ?

J: Maybe we ought to do something nice for him. Get him a present or
something. If anyone deserves it, it's him.

A: What about Wight ?

BS: Hey, Wight got trapped once. Gerry got burned a few dozen times
already. You do the math.

E: Ok, there's a chain-store near here. Lets make a little detour and
buy Gerry a nice gift. It's the least we can do.

<All party members turned 90 degrees and head towards a large red
building>

..........

<SCENE: Wight is still trapped in the dark and scary cave. He's trying
to figure out what to do, but finds his magic failing him completely>

W: Ok, lets try: "Absonom, Karcatron" <Wight waves hands, nothing
happens>

W: Right, Margareth Tatcher won't help me either.

<Suddenly, from the dark and oppresive exit to the cave, a voice calls
out. It calls Wight's name, and calls for him to come join it. The
voice is very seductive, in a totally horrifying and 'I'm gonna cut
your heart out with a spoon' kind of way>

W: <panicked> HELP. SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE !! <Wight runs in the
opposite direction the voice came from, but after only three steps
collides with an invisible forcefield>

W: <panicked, banging forcefield> GET ME OUT OF HERE !! ARRRG !! HELP
ME !! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE !!! ANYONE !!! PLEASE !!!

<Suddenly, Goddess Callisto appears behind Wight>

W: <turning around, smiling as if he doesn't have a care in the world>
Oh, hello my Goddess.

GC: Hey Wight. Say, you wouldn't by any chance have seen a blackened
burned cat pass through here have you ?

W: Nope, can't say that I have.

GC: Ok, thanks. Tada

W: Cya later.

<GC disappears>

W: <turning around, banging forcefield again> ANYONE !!! PLEASE,
ANYONE AT ALL !! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE !!!!!

..........

<SCENE: The party is standing inside a large store. Shelves after
shelves of gimick, gadgets and others line the walls. There is no one
else there, but Autolycus beaming with pride holding a small lockpick
is enough testimony of how they got in>

L: Hey guys, look, I found the perfect thing to give Gerry.

<all the party members quickly walk over to where Leicky is. As soon
as they see the items stored on the shelve before her, they all nod
their head in approval. They found the perfect gift ...

...............................A fire extinguisher.................>

J: It's perfect !

E: Good job Leicky.

L: Thanks.

<However, not all is well. For not one, but two fire extinguishers lie
on the wooden shelve, and one is smaller as the other>

A: Ok, <Auto grabs largest fire extinguisher and turns around> Lets
get out of here.

J: Hey wait, we have to pay for it.

A: What are you talking about ? There's no one here.

J: Yeah, but if we don't pay, it'll be ....

A: Thieving ? Stealing ? Theft ? Illegal ? 

J: Yeah, all of those.

A: That's the idea.

E: No wait. Jenn makes a good point there. If the accountant finds out
the books aren't right, he'll notify the Goddess and then we'll all be
in problems.

A: Aaaww <puts fire extinguisher back> I hate overexaggerated
law-keeping.

L: Ok, so which one do we buy. The small one or the little ?

<As can be imagined, this immediately starts an argument among the
party with sentiments ranging from 'The bigger the better' to 'It's
not the size that matters but how you use it', and various others.
Only Brian doesn't take part in the discussion. He steps forward and
reads the safety guide on the fire extinguisher>

BS: What's this here: "Apply only in case of emergency ... blah blah
... do not drink liquid contained herein ... yeah right ... Fire
extinguishers are heavy, we take no responsibility in the breaking of
toes due to dropping this object ... I bet not ... >

<Suddenly, a big wicked grin appears on Brian's face>

BS: Wait a second, this is interesting: "SEVERE WARNING: Do not, under
ANY circumstances WHATSOEVER, use in the presence of fireball wielding
Goddesses.

BS: <to the rest of the party> Hey guys. I say we take the big one.
Hell, I'll even pay for it, all by myself.

A+J+L+E: <turning around> What ? You serious ?

BS: Yep, anything to help a fellow friend ... <adding in a whisper so
no one hears> ... out of his misery ...

J: That's so nice of you. You're a real friend, you know that.

BS: Yep, all you need is a friend, right ? <VEG>

<Everyone agrees, Brian goes to pay the fire extinguisher, yet no one
quite understands why he's grinning and smiling all the time>

A: <looks outside, spots Squeaky> Hey, it's that shadow thing. Lets
follow it, like we're supposed to do ...

<Everyone runs outside. The happy reunion with Squeaky the shadow has
been ommited due to the fact that no one really cares anyway, these
days, all you viewers are interested in is violence and sex. You know,
in the good old days, it was sentiment and love that took the central
position. We didn't need to see naked men and women run around
shooting each other with submachine guns and ... <SMACK>  Ooops,
sorry, I'll get on with it now >

..........

<SCENE: Squeaky the shadow leads the party to the cemetary, and
beyond. After walking through a deserted rocky landscape for a while,
the party comes to a large chasm. A single rope bridge is the only way
to cross, and before it, an old, robed man stands guard>

Robed Man: Halt !! I'm the Bridgekeeper of Death, and this is the path
to the underworld.

E: We want to pass.

BOD: The conditions for passing are very simple. All those wishing to
pass must die.

<Simultaniously, the entire party turns around and begins to walk
away>

BOD: OR .... !!!

<Simultaniously, the entire party turns around and walks back>

BOD: You have to answer three questions. Fail, and it'll be your
doom!! <a thunderstroke can be heard in the distance>

L: Three questions ? Sounds, easy. I'll go first. Hit me Bridgerkeeper
!!

BOD: <punches Leicky>

L: Awww !! Why did you do that ??!!!

BOD: <surprised> You told me to.

L: I meant ask your question.

BOD: Oh ! Ok, ... first question. What's your name ?

L: <still suffering from the punch> L ... L ... L ... Le ...

BOD: WRONG !!!! <BOD turns Leicky to stone>

A+J+BS+E: Holy cow !!

BOD: Who's next ?

<Autolycus pushes Jenn forward>

J: What, no , wait ?!

BOD: First Question: What's your name.

J: <frantic> Jenn !! My name is Jenn !!

BOD: Correct. Second Question: What's your favorite color ?

J: Yellow, no wait, ... green ... Oh crap !!

<BOD turns Jenn to stone>

BOD: Next ?

E: <to the rest> Allow me, I think I saw this movie.

BOD: Very well. What's your name ?

E: <confident> Eliot.

BOD: What's your favorite color ?

E: <confident> Red !

BOD: Third question: What's the maximum content of a fire
extinguisher.

Eliot: <grinning> The small or the large one ?

BOD: The large one.

Eliot: Huh ?

<BOD turns Eliot to stone>

BOD: I saw that movie too.

BS: Ok, enough of this. I'll go next.

BOD: Very well. First question. What's your name.

BS: Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

BOD: Wrong !! <suddenly notices the chainsaw Brian is holding> Err,
wait a second .....

BS: Die bridgeman !!

<The next scene has been ommited due to extreme violence. Really, I
don't understand this. I wish you kids would make up your mind. You
want to see violence and sex, yet when we show it you can't handle it
and censor it. In my days ... <SMACK> ... oooh, never mind >

<BOD dies, everyone turned to stone reverts to their former form>

J: Ouch. Thanks Brian.

BS: <picking bits of flesh from his chainsaw, grinning widely> My
pleasure.

A: Lets go guys. Squeaky is getting impatient.

<Squeaky starts traversing the rope bridge. The party follows. When
they reach the other side though, they do not find themselves in the
rocky landscape as expected, but in the caved riddled Underworld of
Hades>

A: Great, the Underworld. You know, I do not have good experiences
with this. Those dead people tend to take over your body and get you
to do things you don't want.

J+E+BS+L: Huh ?

A: Never mind.

<From the wall of one of the caves, another shadow, similar in
appearance to Squeaky, though it appears to be female, detaches.>

Squeaky: Squeak Squeak !!

Mimy the Shadow: Mii ... Miii ... !!

The two shadows fall into each other's tendrils. Finally, after all
those years, they have been reunited. The two lovers find each other
again ...

..........

<From inside the abyss>

W: Well I'll be damned !!

..........

J: Ohh, how nice. Looks, they're in love.

<The two shadows disappear together, to live happily ever after in the
Underworld>

E: You know, I hate to say this, but this doesn't help us one damn
bit. We were supposed to follow Squeaky to find Wight, but all the
while Squeaky was just searching for his better half. Now how are we
going to find that assassin ?

<Everyone falls silent. Everything falls silent. The whole underworld
becomes silent >

..........

<SCENE: The party are at the entrance of the dark and omnious cave
Wight is trapped in. It is much darker and much more evil then
anything they have seen in the Underworld, and they know they are not
in fact in the realm of the death, but somewhere much much worse .. >

J: Hey, wait a second. All of that is nice and well, but how did we
get here ???

<SCENE: errrr errrr ... >

J: Well ?

<SCENE: You see, euuhh, I ... ahum ... >

A: Typical. I've seen this sort of thing before. The writer runs out
of inspiration, doesn't know what to do next and just writes us in the
next scene, without so much as an explanation. What, they think we're
stupid or something. We won't stand for this, you know. I've had it up
to my moustache with all the inconsistencies and bad writing. Maybe we
ought to protest or go on strike or something ...

BS: Oh shut up, we're almost there ...

A: Oh, good point ... never mind.

<Together, the five Cirrans walk deeper into the cave, having
absolutely no idea what to expect next >


TO BE CONTINUED ....


______________________________________________________________

-Wight-

==============================================================================

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Mon Mar 15, 1999  01:58:52  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] CRS: Descent into ... Part VI
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)


Here we are again :)

_______________________________________________________________

<..... >


<............. >


<.....................>


<......................................>


<...............................................................................................................>



<..............................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................>


<door opens>

NEW NARRATOR: Huh ... huh ... <pant> .... <gasp >  Sorry .... huh ....
late .....  <pant> new on .... job .... huh ... huh .... <gasp> ....
couldn't ....... find ...... <pant> ..... parking ..... space .....


NEW NARRATOR: Where .... <pant> ..... left ...... off.... huh .... huh
.... Right ! ..... <pant> .... Goddess ....  <pant> ..... <pant> .....
Wight ....... huh .... huh .... dog ...... Autolycus .... <pant>
<pant> .... Jenn ...... Brian ... huh .... <gasp> .... Eliot  .......
huh .... huh ..... Leicky .... <gasp> .... Cave ...... <pant> <gasp>
... There ... you ... go .


AND NOW ... THE NEXT CHAPTER .....

..........

<SCENE: Autolycus, Jenn H, Eliot, Brian S and Leicky are still locked
up in a dark, omnious cave. There's a black exit on one side, and a
forcefield blocking the way to the other. Screams of pain can be heard
in the distance, and dark shadows flutter about, always out of sight,
but never out of mind ... >

BS: Goddess-damn that Wight. <polishes chainsaw> When next time I see
him we're going to have a long, long conversation <starts chainsaw, a
wicked grin is on his face>

J: Euuh, I don't like this place. It's dark, cold and creepy.

<Everyone nods in agreement>

A: Well, we can either sit here until we die, or try that exit, who
knows where it might lead.

<Once again, everyone nods in agreement, but just as they are about to
leave, the voice returns >

VOICE: <in a rational, normal tone this time> Hey, skellie-boy. You
know what, I thought about what you said, and I have to admit. I think
you're right. There really is no reason for you to get over here. So I
think I'm just going to let you go. I need to figure out a new ......
HEY !!! WHO THE HELL IS THERE ?

L: Err, we are.

A+E+J+BS: <blank stare>

VOICE: Whoops ... <reverts back to seducing, in a horrifying and 'I'm
going to cut your heart out with a spoon, kind of way'.> COME TO ME !!
JOIN ME !! ENTER THE DARK !! JOIN ME !!

<terror strikes into the heart of the party at hearing that voice.
They all back off, as much as they possibly can>

A: Err, on the other hand, staying here to die doesn't seem all that
bad anymore.

L: We gotta do something, this thing is driving me mad !!

E: Maybe if we keep completely still it'll ignore us.

J: No wait, think guys. It was willing to let Wight go. We have to
figure out what Wight said to it.

BS: You're right, and you better do it fast, cause me and my chainsaw
can't wait much longer !! <a berserk kind of look appears on BS' face>

L: Ok, it said something about 'having no reason to Wight to get over
there.'

VOICE: JOIN ME !!! COME TO ME !!! GIVE IN TO THE EVIL !! ENTER THE
DARK  !!!

BS: I can't take this much longer !! <a frenzied type of look appears
on BS' face>

A: Ok ok, it ask us to enter that tunnel, supposedly it's on the other
side or so.

E: And Wight didn't want to go. Maybe he asked why he should ?

L: That's it. That must be what Wight did !

J: Ok, lets try ...

VOICE: JOIN ME !! COME TO ME !! GIVE IN TO THE EVIL !!

J: Why ?

VOICE: What ?

J: Why should we ?

VOICE: Oh no, not again. Just do it. I mean, if it feels good, do it,
right ?

J: But you'll hurt us if we join you.

VOICE: Yeah, but that's beside the point.

E: And you'll torture us ?

VOICE: Why is everybody so hung up on that torture thingie !!

L: You'll make Tartarus look like paradise compared to what's about to
happen to us ?

VOICE: You know, I have to tell you, paradise is highly overrated ...

J: <seeing it's working> So why on earth would we want to join you,
eh?

VOICE: Well, you see ... I mean ... Damn I hate that question.

J: Anyone ? Can anyone give a good reason why we should join ? See, no
one can, it's just stupid ...

A: <walking a step closer to Jenn> Well, actually ... You see, we are
in a fantasy story, kinda like a movie, and in movies people are
always so curious they willingly walk into their deaths, in horror
movies at least. So that could be a reason. <Auto beams with pride at
having found the answer>

VOICE: YES !!! THAT's IT !!! THANK YOU AUTO !!

VOICE: COME TO ME !! JOIN ME !! GIVE INTO THE CURIOSITY !!

A: Huh ?

<The following scene was once again cut out, but we can tell you it
was pretty horrible. There was a lot of screaming, a lot of anger, and
we think we heard that chainsaw once or twice. Needless to say, by the
time the scene was over, Autolycus was not in the best of shapes ...>

L: <kicks Auto while he's down> Damn you !! We could've escaped !

VOICE: YES, THAT's IT. GIVE INTO THE EVIL. JOIN THE DARK. COME TO ME
!!!

..........

<SCENE: Wight is walking the streets of New Cirra, whistling: "And I
know that I'm going down to die ... " Squeaky II follows loyaly.>

<In a flash of fire, Goddess Callisto appears>

W: "And I know, that I'm going down to ... " ... Oh, hello my Goddess.
<Wight bows>

GC: Ahh, there you are.

W: What can I help you with, oh fair and mighty Goddess ?

GC: You can start by talking like a normal person.

W: Ok, how you doing baby ...

<SMACK .... >

W: <dragging himself off the ground, four meters from where he had
been standing an instant ago > I guess that didn't work so well.

GC: <Blank stare>

W: Errr, lets change the subject. What are you doing here ?

GC: I've decided to come with you. This ultimate evil thing sounds
like fun. And besides, you're going to need a goddess to defeat
whatever it is that lurks over there.

W: <pleasantly surprised> You're going to accompagny me ?

GC: No, you're going to accompagny me.

W: Right. Wow. This is so cool. Me and the Goddess, together. On a
quest, holding hands like husband and wif ... Errr, did I say that out
loud ?

<SMACK ... >

W: <dragging himself off the ground, six meters from where he had been
standing an instant ago> Master and servant, master and servant,
that's what I meant !!!

GC: Better. Lets go.

W: <phew> Ok, lets go.

GC: ....

W: ....

GC: Errr, where is it exactly that you were going ?

W: I don't know. I'm just following you.

GC: I mean, where's the cave ?

W: Dunno.

GC: But you just came from there !

W: You know, that's a real funny story. One minute I was there, the
next I was in New Cirra, holding a note that said something like:
"Sorry, writer still has no inspiration"

GC: You really can't do anything right can you ?

W: I do my best. Hey, you've been there. Why don't you just teleport
over and rescue the party ?

GC: I can't.

W: What do you mean you can't ?

GC: I can't teleport over. Doesn't work.

W: It worked two chapters ago !!

GC: I know. It's strange, things like that seem to happen to me rather
frequently. Sometimes I can't teleport, sometimes I can't fight.
Sometimes I can only shoot lightning bolts. Sometimes I can't think
for myself. Sometimes my personality isn't consistent. Sometimes my
hair is different. Sometimes ...

W: Ok, I get the picture.

GC: I really gotta try to figure out what causes that. Or who ...

..........

<Somewhere in the real world a certain script writer has a really bad
nightmare>

..........

W: Ok, maybe if we wait here a while, we'll be teleported to the cave.

GC: Sounds good. I always said Patience is a Virtue.

W: Right.

W: <waits>

GC: <waits>

W: <waits some more>

GC: <waits some more>

W: <waits even more>

GC: <waits even more>

W: <waits more still>

GC: <waits more still>

W: <walks a circle>

GC: <twitches a little>

W: <chases a bug>

GC: <inspects dagger>

W: <waits>

GC: <throws dagger at Wight's head>

W: <dies>

..........

<SCENE: Back in the dark cave>

VOICE: COME TO ME !! JOIN ME !! JOIN THE DARK !!

BS: <his blood boiling> That's it. I can't take it anymore ! DIE !!

<Brian charges into the dark tunnel, holding his chainsaw in hand>

J: Brian, NO !!!

<There is a scream of pain. Brian's chainsaw flies back out of the
tunnel. More screams of pain ...>

J: Oh my Goddess, we lost him. We lost Brian ...

A: <picks up chainsaw> The only thing we have left of our friend ...

E: This is all Wight's fault ...

<Suddenly, Brian walks out of the tunnel again, holding his nose>

<All party members, happy that Brian is still alive, run towards him>

L: Brian, you're still alive. What happened. We heard your screams.

BS: I ran into a wall. It's dark in there !!

L+J+A+E: <blank stare>

..........

<SCENE: Wight finds himself in Tartarus. A little further, Callisto,
in her pre-goddess days, is standing>

W: Huh, is this a dream ?

C: Oh, you're only half right. Dreams are the fine line between the
real world, and the underworld. And with a little help, well, .. that
line can just disappear.

W: Huh ?

C: Help from a god perhaps.

W: Hey, snap out of it. I didn't ask.

C: Ooops, right. Sorry, what do you want.

W: What am I doing here.

C: You're dreaming while your body is regenerating. Callisto killed
you. 

W: Right, so what are you doing here.

C: I'm here to tell you how to reach the dark realm.

W: Cool. How ?

C: Hey, this is a dream. You ever had a straightforward dream.

W: Huh ?

C: You're supposed to interpret it, you moron.

W: Oh right.

C: Good.

W: Well.

C: Well what.

W: Don't you have to say something I can interpret.

C: Almost forgot ! My bad. Ok, lets see. Right, just like you can
reach the underworld through dreaming, you can reach the evil world
through doing another activity.

W: <interpreting> Underwold, right, that stands for my grandmother.
Dreaming is probablly swimming. Evil, I think that's the house I used
to live in. I got it. I have to swing through the lake to reach the
house I used to live in where my grandmother is waiting !!

C: <shakes head> Arrrrrgh !!

W: What ?

C: Idiot.

W: Huh.

C: You weren't supposed to interpret that yet.

W: Oh.

C: Well.

W: Huh ?

C: That's it. I'm complaining to the script writers about this. I want
a normal actor to play against.

W: Wait a second, I get it.

C: That'd be a change.

W: I have to figure out what activity I have to do to reach the evil
world.

C: Already ! Must be a new world record !

W: Hey, can we cut the sarcasm. I'm new at this ok. Besides, I'm dead
at the moment. I think those are extenuating circumstances.

C: Oh ok.

W: Right, so what do I have to do to ?

C: You're supposed to figure that out yourself.

W: That doesn't help much. Can you give me a hint ?

C: Oh ok, think of something you absolutely hate doing.

W: Run around naked in the night singing: "For he's a jolly good
fellow"

<Callisto turns into a grey beared man holding a big sigar>

Freud: Mr Wight, you have some serious psychological problems, do you
know that.

W: Huh ?

Freud: Let's start with your childhood shall we. Any special
occurences. Any childhood traumas, sexual fantasies perhaps. 

W: oh oh. <starts panicking>

Freud: Why don't you try to summon up an image of your mother and tell
me how you feel about her.

W: AAAARRRGHH !! SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE !!

..........

<Suddenly Wight wakes up, completely ressurected>

GC: Hey there. You ok, you look a little pale. I didn't hit you that
hard did I ?

W: Huh ? Oh, I'm back in the normal world, thank god.

GC: What happened.

W: I had a dream, and was told we'd have to do a certain activity to
reach the evil world.

GC: And what might that be..

W: Well I don't ... <Wight stops, a grin appears on his face> Err,
well, you know that saying you have: 'Love is a trick nature plays to
get us to reproduce, I want no part of it.

GC: Yes ?

W: It appears you'll have to push that aside for a while <grinning
broadly>

<The resulting firestorm laced with a multitude of lightning bolts
brightened up the sky and caused every good Cirran to come out
wondering what happened. This unique occurance would be the center of
conversation for many years to come ... and as for Wight ... well,
lets just say he was *never* going to try that again.>


..........


<Back in the evil world>

E: Ok, we've been here for some time now, and this is getting us
nowhere. 

J: So what do you suggest.

E: I say we fight. Face this evil. Stand up to our fears.

A: I agree. It's about time I escaped from here. Spending longer then
an hour in a prison, any prison, hurts my reputation.

L: Besides, if I stay here much longer I'm going to miss the next
Vicky Pratt show. I'd face any evil for her.

J: Well, if you all want to go. What about you Brian.

BS: <still holding his nose> Sounds good to me. Just watch the walls
though. These things are dangerous.

A: Ok, lets go.

<together, the party leaves the cave, ready to face the ultimate evil
... >

..........

<Scene: Goddess Callisto stands on the streets of Cirra, holding his
skull. From the rest of his body, there is no sign>

W: Huh, what ? Where am I ? And where is the rest of me ?

GC: I scattered it to the four winds. Maybe that'll teach you to think
before you try such a stunt again.

W: What, how could you have known I wasn't telling the truth ?

GC: I was there, remember.

W: Huh ?

GC: Oh never mind, you wouldn't understand.

W: Great. First they steal my body, then they call me a moron. I've
had it up to here with this town.

GC: You're not thinking of running are you ?

W: <gulp> Err, no, ofcourse not mighty Goddess. I was just rehearsing
a play. Yeah, that's what it was. Testing my vocals, you know ...

GC: Good.

W: <phew>

GC: So what do we do.

W: I don't know. The dream ended with that Freud guy telling me ...
<Suddenly, Wight sees the light ... >

GC: Huh ? Where does that light come from ?

W: I got it !! We have to go to the shrink ?

GC: What ?

W: Think about it. We're about to enter the world of ultimate evil.
What better place to find a doorway then at a psychiater. Makes
perfect sense to me.

GC: You know, actually, it does. Good boy.

W: Now, can I have my body back.

GC: Oh alright. <Goddess Callisto zaps Wight's body back in place,
then puts his head on top>

W: Aaahh, much better. Hey, while you're at it, think you could get me
some teeth as well. Heresy still has mine.

GC: Don't push it ...

W: OK.

<Wight and Callisto leave, heading towards the town's resident shrink>

..........

<In the evil world>

<After ten minutes of walking, with the voice getting louder and
louder each step, the party finally reach the end of the dark tunnel.
There, they find a new cave. A black shroud is located dead center of
the cave, obscuring whoever lurks in there, although the party
definately see some sort of humanoid form>

VOICE: AHH, THERE YOU ARE. JOIN ME !! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR WORST
NIGHTMARE

BS: Ok, where here you lousy demon. Now show yourself.

<Out of the dark shroud, the demon steps forward. The entire party's
mouth's fall open in gaze as they behold the thing ... the thing,
which looks just like a little wrinkled old man wearing ragged
clothes>

A: That's the demon !! Man, I can't believe I wasted my time with
this. Oh, i'm going to give this guy a good whooping. <Auto walks
forward, making two fists>

Demon: Not so fast !! You have no idea who I am do you !!

A: No, so who are you. At least I'll know who I'm wiping the floor
with !

Demon: I'm the most horrible force on earth. The vilest evil. The
greatest wickedness. Children cry when they hear my name. Grown men
break out in cold sweat. The sun turns away from my visage. The gods
dare not speak my name. I'm torture incarnate ... the face of horror
itself, ... the mightiest demon of all ...

I AM ..... WRITER'S BLOCK !!!

A: What ?

L: What ?

BS: What ?

E: What ?

J: What ?

WB: I'm writers block ! What are you guys, deaf ? Tremble in fear
before me.

<The party members look at each other, each with an expression that
says: "What in Tartarus is this wacko taking about ?">

WB: Writers Block ? You get it ... Writers ... Block ?

A+L+BS+E+J: Huh ?

WB: W...R...I..T..E...R...'...S...B....L...O....C...K...

BS: Yeah so ?

WB: Man, this is a hard crowd !

A: No, but these are two hard fists <Auto walks forward, ready to
pummel Writer's block into the ground>

WB: Wait ! Behold my power ...

<Suddenly, the entire party freezes>

J: What ? What is going on here ?

L: I don't know. It's almost like some invisble force that runs our
lives suddenly doesn't know what to do anymore.

A: Let us go wrinkle boy !

WB: Still not conviced heh ? I'll teach you ... Behold, the fullness
of my power <Writer's block raises arms>

...

...

...

...

_____________________________________________________

Errr, 


Ahum. You know what. I think maybe I'll continue this next chapter. 


-Wight-

"It's got me, it whooped me, can't fight this, it's got me" ...

==============================================================================

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Tue Mar 16, 1999  01:05:41  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] CRS: Descent into ... Part VII
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)


What can I say ... I'm just plain evil <g>

_________________________________________________________

<SCENE: Dark omnious cave. You know, this is getting repetitive. Maybe
I ought to just called it the DOC and get on with it :) ... Oh yeah,
the party is still paralyzed by Writer's Block >

WB: Ahah !! I'm the greatest, most horrible demon that ever lived. No
one can face my might.

A: This is not good.

WB: That's right ! It isn't. Now, submit to my might. Surrender
yourself, or I'll be forced to use my powers again !

J: We will never surrender to you, you fiend !!

WB: Very well, behold the might of Writer's Block. <Writer's block
raises arms >

...

....

.....

.....

_____________________________________________________________



Damn, this is getting annoying !!

Continued in next chapter ...

-Wight-

"It's got me, it whooped it, can't fight this, it's got me"

==============================================================================

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Fri Mar 19, 1999  02:03:31  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] CRS: Descent into ... Part VIII
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)


J: Oh, hey guys ! Sorry to take up your time, but I feel it's
important to give you a fair warning. The following chapter gets
really dark and scary, so you might want to put the kids to bed !

A: Oh come on. So far we've had insane Goddess', psychopathic
skeletons, undead ressurections, demon summonings, ultimate evil,
wickedness, bloodshed, extreme violence, premeditated murder, torture,
enough insanity to make even Dayhak run away screaming, and worst of
all ... Brian !

BS: Haha, very funny !

A: Point is, if you have any kids watching this, by now, instead of
sending them to bed, you might want to send them to a counselor.

J: Oh Wight was right, this warning thing isn't a good idea afterall
..




_________________________________________________________

THE STORY SO FAR
---------------------------------

In the first chapter, we saw Wight fall of a tree and break his neck.
His subsequent travel to Tartarus and meeting with Hades, the God of
the Underworld left him with a new mission.

To be allowed to leave Tartarus and return to the living, Wight had to
find Gabrielle, who had escaped Hades on accident after falling into a
lava pit with her daughter Hope. Wight was to find Gabrielle, bring
her back, and then Hades would switch Wight's life with hers.

Returning to the world of the living, Wight teamed up with Griller and
together the two started their search for the bard. However, Goddess
Callisto learned of their mission, and decided no one was to harm or
kill the bard from Potadeia, unless it was done by Callisto herself.

Intend on stopping Wight and Griller before they got to Gabrielle,
Callisto teleported to the forest where they currently were, and
appeared before the two travelers. Swords were drawn, spells were
readied, and a fight was about to ensue ...

And now, ... the conclusion ....

__________________________________________________________

<Scene: Dark damp cave, though not really>

Wight: <Blank stare>

GC: <Blank stare>

Autolycus: <Blank stare>

Jenn: <Blank stare>

Leicky: <Blank stare>

Eliot: <Blank stare>

Brian: <Blank stare>

Squeaky II: <Blank stare>

Plooyie: <Blank stare>

Writer's Block: <Black stare>

..........



Oh never mind, just get on with it ....


..........


<SCENE: Dark omnious cave, for real this time. Brian, Eliot, Leicky,
Jenn and Autolycus are still paralyzed by Writer's Block, who is
trying to get the party to surrender>

BS: <straining> Let me go you fiend !! 

WB: Surrender mortals !!

A: Never !

WB: <starts raising his arms again> Very well, then behold the power
of ...

L: <irritated> Oh alright already. We give up, this could go on
forever !

WB: Hah ! That's right mortals, you are helpless in the face of true
evil !

J: Ok, so what do you want with us now that we've surrendered ?

WB: Let me tell you about myself. I'm a collector. That's right. And
do you know what I collect ?

E: Bad one liners ?

WB: Very funny ... NO ! <in a very dramatic tone> The answer is
characters. All sorts of characters. First, I use my powers to place
them in stasis. Then I sell them off to the highest bidder. Because of
me, these characters become unique ... characters that never made
their public appearance, characters that appeared once or twice, then
vanished without a trace. Characters that are known by everyone, then
disappeared leaving everyone to wonder: "What happened to ... ". I
capture them. Because of me, they become collector's items, ... and
then they make me rich when I sell them.

J: <impressed> So, what do you do with the money ?

WB: Oh, I buy myself a playstation and play computer games, what do
you think ?

BS: figures.

A: I see. So it's me you want. You want to put the King of Thieves
under writer's block and then sell me off. You were so dazzled by me
skill and charm that you simply had to have me, right ?

WB: <bursts out into laughter>

J: <bursts out into laughter>

BS: <bursts out into laughter>

E: <bursts out into laughter>

L: <bursts out into laughter>

A: What ??!!

WB: You're overinflated ego is quite funny mortal, but you're wrong.
You people are just bait as far as I'm concerned. The real character I
want is your Goddess, Callisto. She's magnificent.

L: <in anger> You'll never get Callisto !!

WB: Oh I think I will. See, I masterfully orchestrated this entire
thing. When I felt that skeleton boy opening a portal to my world, I
pulled him in, knowing people would come rescue him. And now you
people are trapped yourself, and the only one that can rescue you is
Callisto ... She will come, she will enter my lair, and then, she'll
be 'writer's block'ed. <evil laughter>

J: You bastard !!

WB: Thank you. Already, your Goddess is on her way. It'll be only a
matter of time before she gets here, and that's the last any of you
will ever see of her !

E: You'll never win against our Goddess !

WB: Do *not* underestimate the power of the dark side !

E: Yes father ... errr, oh shut up.

BS: So what do you intent to do with us.

WB: You guys, well, I'll just do to you what I do to all bad mediocre
characters.

BS: Let us go ?

WB: Introduce you to my pet ... Trash ! <WB waves hand and suddenly
the party is transported to another, larger cave. This one has no
exits at all, and in the shadows, something large and monstrous
lurks!>

E: Oh crap ....

..........

<SCENE: The streets of Cirra. Wight and Callisto are walking towards
the 'gene'eric resident psychologist. Squeaky II is noticably absent>

W: Hey, wait a second. Where did SqueakyII go ?

GC: He got shredded apart in that fire/lightning storm, why ?

W: You killed SqueakyII ??!!!

GC: No, I killed you, SqueakyII just happened to be in the wrong place
at the wrong time.

W: Oh, ok then. If it was just me I don't mind.

GC: Good, then I don't have to kill you again. So, how do you know we
have to see a psychologist anyway ?

W: Lets just say a little birdie told me ...

..........

<SCENE: In a far-away land, a little yellow bird sits in its nest,
basking in the sun>

LYB: Ok, that's it !!! I'm sick and tired of people putting words in
my mouth. This time, I'm gonna sue !

<Little Yellow Bird puts on a toxido, grabs a little black case and
flies off towards New Cirra ... >

..........

<SCENE: A little later, Callisto and Wight are sitting in 'Gene'ric's
office. The psychologist is making notes, writing out a hypothesis>

GC: Hey, we don't have all day !

Psycho: Right. Well, why don't we start, shall we ?

GC: About time.

Psycho: Goddess Callisto, why don't you begin by telling me what you
see when you look at this picture <Psycho gives Callisto a piece of
white paper with an inkblob on it>

GC: <studies paper> What do I see ... Hmm. Fire. War. Blood. Death....
Xena's head on a spike.

Psycho: <a little disturbed> Right. Why don't we try Wight instead.
Wight, what do you see when you look at the picture>

<Callisto gives Wight the picture>

W: Hmm, ok. Fire. War. Blood. Death. Rotting Corpses.

GC: Cool, where do you see the rotting corpses ?

W: Xena's head on a spike after a few years.

GC: <grins>

Psycho: <a lot disturbed, pulls picture out of Wight's hand> O...K...
Lets try something else shall we. Wight, why don't you tell me about
your childhood.

W: Ok, I can do that. It all started when I was born ... <Wight starts
telling his story. It's not pretty, you *do not* want me to repeat it
here ...

............

A little later ...

Psycho: So you see, all this agression you have, it's all caused by
the fact that that cactus you love so much fell down the stairs !!

W:<in tears> I never knew !! Oh doctor, I've done so much wrongs ...

Psycho: It's not too late to change ...

W: You're right. I have to start doing good, turn my life around.

GC: Oh no !! Not another one !!

<Suddenly, without warning, Wight and Callisto are teleported away
from Gene'ric's office, into the cave of Writer's Block.>

GC: Huh, I thought I was the one doing the teleporting here ?

<Up ahead, Writer's Block walks out of the shadows>

WB: Goddess Callisto, a pleasure to finally meet you ! Any last words?

W: Yeah, where are we ?

WB: I wasn't talking to you <Writer's Block teleports Wight away>

...........

<SCENE: Trash' lair. The party watches in terror as from the other end
of the cave a twenty foot (about 3 meters), bloated and overweight
naked man appears. Wave after wave of fat hangs from his belly,
falling all the way over his legs so that only his feet are visible.
His mouth is largely overgrown, and forms a great elips through which
he sucks up his surroundings .... >

E: This is *not* good.

<Out of nowhere, Wight appears, disorientated and confused>

W: Hey, can we stop with the teleportations already !! <Wight faces
the party> Oh, hey guys. Why are you all so pale, I don't look *that*
bad, do I ?

J: <almost paralyzed with fear, points> Behind you !!

..........

_____________________________________________________________

Next, several bad-ass confrontations :)

-Wight-
-Former assassin, temporarily mental wreck ... -

==============================================================================

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Tue Mar 23, 1999  02:51:58  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] CRS: Descent into ... Part IX
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: Wight@axl.be (Wight)


The conclusion, ... I think. 

_______________________________________________________________


WHERE ARE THEY NOW ? :
__________________________

Brian, Jenn, Leicky, Eliot and Autolycus:
---------------------------------------------------------------
 Thank's to Wight's backstabbing behaviour find themselves trapped in
the realm of evil. It's master, Writer's Block, told them they had
been used as bait to get Goddess Callisto, and have thereafter been
dumped into the lair of Trash. Now, they find themselves facing an
overgrown human vacuum, with an appetite for just about anything that
comes near it ...

Wight:
----------
After having been freed from the realm of evil Wight was told by
Goddess Callisto to go back there to rescue the others. To get there
he needed to face Cirra's shrink, which left him with a change of
heart. Wight decided to put his assassin days behind him and break the
circle of hate and violence. Not much later he was thrown into the
lair of Trash as well ...

Callisto:
-----------
The Goddess finally met up with the demon Writer's Block and it's
obsession for collecting interesting characters. A fight is about to
ensue between the two.

Gerry:
--------
Gerry woke up this morning and found his new present lying at his
doorstep. In sympathy, we all hope he never uses it.

SqueakyII:
----------------
SqueakyII got evaporated in a lighting/fire storm summoned up by
Goddess Callisto. 'nuff said.

Dr.Frankenstein:
-------------------------
Was reunited with his true sidekick, Igor (actually Iggy), and lived
happily ever after.

Plooyie
---------
And finally, we get to the real star of this story. Plooyie ... well,
Plooyie got killed a long time ago ... sorry.


AND NOW, THE STORY CONTINUES (good thing too, imagine me having
written this introduction for nothing :)

_____________________________________________________________

<SCENE: Lair of Trash. The party, still struck by fear at the sight of
the huge monstrous Trash monster, is about to find themselves victim
of it's insatiable appetite. So is Wight, who was transported there
and still has no idea what's going on.>

J: <pointing at Trash> Wight, behind you !!

W: <Confused> Huh, what's behind me <turns around> AAARRGGHHH !!!
<Wight jumps away just in time to avoid Trash' greasy palms from
finding a grasp on him> What in Tartarus is that thing !!

A: It's Trash, and it's about to eat us.

E: We need a plan, and we need it now !!

L: Oh wait, I have a plan.

E: Great, lets hear it.

L: <pushed Eliot forward> You distract it while we think of another
plan.

<Trash goes after Eliot, who starts running for his life. In circles
that is, for the cave really isn't all that big>

J: Hey Brian, why don't you use your chainsaw on that thing.

BS: My chainsaw ! Yeah, that's it. <Brain looks down, only to find his
chainsaw missing> Hey, my chainsaw. Someone stole my chainsaw.

<Everyone, Trash included, stops and turns towards Autolycus>

A: <shaking head> Err, I'd love to take credit for such a perfect
heist, but it wasn't me.

BS: My chainsaw, it just disappeared on me !

<Suddenly, in a flash of fire, Goddess Callisto appears>

GC: Don't you just hate it when that happens ? When something
essential to the plot just disappears without a trace because
otherwise the story would be over too soon ?

L: Ahum, Goddess, aren't you supposed to be fighting that demon ?

GC: Oh, you're right. Love to chat, but, gotta go ... <Goddess
Callisto disappears again>

A: Ok, so the chainsaw is out. Hey Wight, why don't you do something.
You're supposed to be a badass <censored> ...

W: Ok, lets see. <Wight runs towards Trash, which stops chasing Eliot
and turns towards the skeleton now before him>

W: <abnormally pacifistic> Listen, I know you have problems. And I
know people make fun of you because of your weight and height, but ...

A+J+L+E+BS: <blank stare> What the .... ?

<Trash swipes at Wight, hits him and sends him flying ...>

A: Err, Wight, whatever happened to death, killing, assassinating,
violence, demonic spells, bloodshed, you know, things like that ?

W: I don't do that anymore, 'Gene'ric set me straight.

A: <not wanting to believe it> Oh, this is a great time to get a
change of heart. Just when we need an undead assassin at our side, the
assassin decides to take a break from evil. Wight, snap out of it
man!!

BS: <not even bothering> Ok guys, I say we fight back. We hit Trash
from the rear and sides, then run away if it tries to attack us, with
it's size and weight, we should be able to outmanouver it>

J+L: Got it !!

<All three attack Trash and start kicking and punching the giant
monster. All their frantic attacks gain them however are a few ripples
in Trash' fat. The monster doesn't even notice>

E: <starting to get out of breath> Hey, do you think maybe someone
else could play the decoy for a while !!

..........

<Back in Writer's Block's lair ... >

WB: Finally, Goddess Callisto, I have you. You'll be my master piece !
I'll get more money for you then all my other character's together.

GC: What in my name are you talking about ?

WB: You'll understand soon enough ... now, face the power of ...
Writer's Block. <Writer's Block raises arms, again ... >

<Everything freezes ... >

WB: <Very evil laughter> Muaaahhhahahah .... Muahahahaha ... Now one
can stand up to me. And now, Goddess Callisto will disappear from the
world, ... for good.

<WB walks up to Callisto, and suddenly gets punches in the face by our
Goddess>

WB: <flies back and hits the ground> What ??!!! Impossible ...

GC: Is that the best you can do, wrinkle boy ??

WB: How could you ?? No one can stand up to Writer's Block.

GC: Oh please, speak for yourself. I've seen so many writers come and
go, Writer's Block isn't something that concerns me anymore.

WB: <a look of terror spreads over his face> It cannot be !

GC: I do hope you that isn't all you have, or this'll be over real
soon <Callisto points finger at Writer's Block >

..........

<SCENE: Trash's lair>

A: <Slaps Wight's face> Snap out of it !! Fight back !! Fight back !!

W: <turning the other cheek> No, I can't. I won't do it. I won't
travel down that dark path again. You won't turn me ...

E: <totally exhausted by now ... > Help me, I can't .... Help ...
<Eliot stumbles and falls to the ground, Trash looms over him>

J: NO !!! <Jenn runs past Trash and takes place in between Eliot and
the monster> Get back you !! Get back !!

BS: <Suddenly gets an idea> Jenn, just a little longer ! 

J: <dodging from Trash's paws> It's not like I'm the one to determine
that !!!

BS: Just a little ... <Brain grabs one of Trash' love-handles and
pulls at it, then runs around the monster>

J: <Seeing her life flash before her> Arrrgh, that's it. Tell everyone
of my sacrifice. Tell the Goddess I loved her ... 

<Suddenly, Trash loses balance and falls down. Why ? Because Brain
managed to pull his lovehandle all the way around his legs and cause
the creature to trip over it's own fat ... >

J: Huh ? 

BS: <runs over and helps Eliot up> Quickly, we don't have much time ..
<together, the three run away, while Leicky takes place to become the
new decoy ... >

E: Great move Brian, where did you learn that ?

BS: StarWars EpisodeV, The Empire Strikes Back ...

W: <catching that > ... Star Wars ???

A: That's it !! I know where Wight got it's evil streak from !! Hey
Wight, join us. Give in to the Dark Side ...

W: Dark Side ??

A: You don't know the power of the Dark Side !! Join me, and together,
we will rule the galaxy as father and son !

W: Yes !!!! <suddenly, Wight reverts back to his old, psychopathic and
totally insane self>

A: Yes, that's it !!

W: <Summons Wight-blade from thin air> Ok, that's it you big fat
monster, prepare to be turned into pork chops !! 

<Wight charges Trash and starts attacking the monster. His sword tears
huge gasps into the creature's skin. However, almost as soon as they
appear the wounds close themselves and the monster remains unhurt>

A: Damn !! That doesn't work either.

L: It's Trash. There'll always be Trash !! You can't kill Trash !!

W: Yeah well, I got a few other aces up my sleeve < Wight casts
massive entropy spell, aimed straight at Trash's heart. The creature
however just sucks up the spell and remains unaffected >

W: Damn, tough bugger ...

BS: I'm usually the last to admit it guys, but violence and carnage
isn't working against this thing. Maybe it's time we tried a new
approach ?

A: Like what ? Rob it of it's valuables ? Already tried that, it
doesn't have any ...

BS: <giving Auto a curious, 'what in Tartarus is wrong with you' kind
of look> ... No, I mean, talk to it or something.

J: I have an idea !! <Jenn runs up to Trash again ... > Hey, Trash. I
have something to say to you ... 

<Trash stops chasing Leicky, and turns towards Jenn>

J: Yeah, that's right. You're the worst character in the history of
characters. You don't even make a good villain. You're too fat, you're
too slow, you're too stupid. No one likes you. Everyone's just waiting
for you to go away. However came up with a stupid monster like you
must be a complete idiot !! In short, if *anyone*, *anyone* at all
belongs in the Trashcan, it's you ... 

<Trash stops, a horrified look appears on the creature's face ...
then, after a while, it starts crying ... >

E: ohhh, look, you made it cry ... 

BS: <smacks Eliot> Shut up will you, it's working ...

J: <to Trash> That's right, cry. We don't care. See, you can't even
get people to feel compassion for you. There's only one thing left to
do, you know it. Time to rid the world of a bad character such as
yourself ...

<Trash stops ... then suddenly nods and begins to eat itself. In a
matter of seconds, the creature is completely gone. Trash has been
thrown into the trash ... >

L: Wooohooo !! We won !!!


<Out of the shadows, Goddess Callisto steps forward>

GC: Not bad. Not bad at all.

E: Goddess ? How long have you been there ?

GC: Long enough. 

E: What about Writer's Block.

GC: Lets just say he wasn't fire-proof. Then again, they always say
there's nothing like a good catastrophe to get rid of Writer's Block,
right <Callisto grins wickedly .. >

L: You could've helped us ...

GC: And miss out on your stuntling. I don't think so.

A: Good to know we can count on our Goddess when we need her. Can we
go home now, I'm getting rather sick and tired of this place ...

GC: Ok, lets go. <Callisto teleports everyone back to the temple ... >

..........

<SCENE: Somewhat later. At the Goddess' temple. Callisto sits on her
throne. The party, and Wight, sit kneeled before her ... >

GC: Good job everyone ... That was fun. We should do it again some
day.

W: Goddess Callisto ... I hereby wish your approval to become an
assassin once more ...

GC: Ok, I suppose you deserved it. Tell you what, I'll even promote
you. <Note: Wight gained his next level> ... from now on, you can
consider yourself my personal assassin.

W: <looks up in complete awe> Oh thank you goddess !!!

<Editorial: Yes, it's true. This entire skit was just so that I could
henceforth name myself The Goddess' official assassin. But if anyone,
after nine CRS chapters, still thinks I don't deserve it, they'll find
themselves the center of my next skit ... :) >

A: Hey, can I be the Goddess official thief ??

GC: <shakes head> Nope, you don't have the necessary experience to
gain a new level yet ...

A: Damn <Auto walks off in search of more thefts. For as we all know
thieves gain one xp for each gold piece they steal >

GC: As for the rest of you .... 

<J+L+BS+E all look up in anticipation>

GC: <points at all the dead cats in the temple> You get the honor of
cleaning my temple again. Get to it ...

E: Figures !!!

..........

And so, everyone lived happily ever after ... well, until the next
skit at least ... oh yeah, everyone except Wight, for when he came
home he found two notices posted at his door, both from the court of
Judge Tartan Terror. One charging him a large hefty sum for
impersonating Little Yellow Bird, and one charging him to three days
in jail for misinforming the public about Spectres, courtesy of the
Necromancers Guild ...

And so, justice had been served after all ...


Till next time, 

Tada ...


______________________________________________________________

-Wight-

==============================================================================

Web site copyright (c) 2001 Kevin C. Wong, All Rights Reserved.
"Xena: Warrior Princess" and some material copyright MCA/Universal.
Materials copyright their respective authors.
Send questions and comments to me, Kevin C. Wong (jahn@csua.berkeley.edu)
This page last updated: May 4, 2001.