From: Erin Hunt <erin-hunt@geocities.com>
Date: Tue Jul 07, 1998  02:35:25  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] "Sacrifice" & "AN"
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: Erin Hunt <erin-hunt@geocities.com>

Wight wrote:

From: wight@axl.be (Wight)

Hi all,

Sorry to bug you with this, but I really need to vent some frustration
or I'll go mad ... just delete this.

......

Gues I was wrong. Sacrifice part I wasn't the worst ep ever. Part II
was. Oh well, think of all the money I'd save not having to tape (or
watch for that matter) Xena anymore.

-Wight-

Bravo! Amen! "The Titans" was stupid and deadly dull, but atleast it
wasn't completely infuriating. Still, while "Sacrifice II" may have been
the worst X:WP ep ever, one could make a strong case that it's Emmy
material next to... "Armageddon Now, Part II". (Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!)

What was so wrong with these episodes? It would probably be easier to
list what *wasn't* wrong with them, but I'll take a crack at it. The
plotlines chucked all logic, along with all attempts at plausible
dramatic conflict, right out the window. "AN II" was so bad in this
respect that I spent most of the episode actually giving it the MST3K
treatment. "Um, Cally honey. Remember that... god thing?"

They cheerfully destroyed what was most important about the
underpinnings of each main character. "Gabrielle the Whipped. Xena the
Ultimate Control Freak. Iolaus the Heartless. Callisto the Dumb Blond
Wuss Goddess." The dialogue was amazingly ineffective. Events had no
"flow" to them (probably because they were so unnatural). "Sacrifice II"
tossed Callisto aside like an old shoe. And let's not forget that both
episodes made the "hero" come across as completely unsympathetic. Iolaus
really was heartless and self-absorbed, and Xena had the worst case of
mulish "holier-than-thou" that we've seen since "Maternal Instincts".

I wouldn't blame all this on the writers alone. Rob Tapert and Sam
Raimi, especially Tapert, who seems to be much more involved in the
series, are responsible for spotting and heading off the kind of
laziness we've seen in the writing all season. They're responsible for
the overall quality of the show. What can be done to rectify this
situation? Well...

<wavy flashback lines>

<GC, Hudson and Leicky walk into the Callistian Gymnastics Academy. They
find Erin in full New Cirrian warrior regalia, right down to the
cermonial gauntlets, running her finger up and down the razor edge of
her sword>

Erin:<bone chilling chuckle> He, he. Good work, Erin. Nice job.

Hudson: Hey, Erin. What's up?

Erin: Well, you know how we really didn't care for those *stupid*
"Sacrifice" and "Armageddon Now" episodes, especially the ignominious
way Goddess supposedly met her end?

Hudson: Yeah?

Erin: Well, I managed to get my hands on the Cronos Crystal and use it
to go back to earlier this season, and I took care of our little Rob
Tapert problem, IF you know I mean. <swings sword in a loop for
empahsis>

<Hudson and Leicky look horrified>

GC:<beaming> That's my girl!

Hudson: Erin, you don't mean you ki- ki- ki-

Erin: Yeah, I sure did, Hudson. I hunted down Rob Tapert, and I KICKED
him, Hudson!! Right in the shin! <Self-satisfied chortle. GC's face
falls> I'm sorry, friend. It's gruesome, I know, but I had to take
matters into my own hands.

Hudson: Oh. I thought you, ya know, went back and... terminated him.

Erin: What do you mean, ter- TERMINATED! What, are you nuts?! I'd never
kill someone over a TV show! Never! Geez, how could you ever get that
idea?

<Hudson, being an actress, dramatically rolls her eyes>

Hudson: I don't know.

<GC is still trying to process the fact that one of her followers isn't
willing to kill someone over her demise>

Erin: Well anyway, by going back and giving our Mr. Tapert a firm, swift
blow to the shin, I have altered the course of events, and "Sacrifice"
and "Armageddon Now" are no more. <decadent evil cackle>

<Leicky looks up from the thick book she's been leafing through>

Leicky: Aha! I thought I remembered it, and I was right. A couple of
weeks ago I was reading a biography on Rob Tapert, ya know, doing my
research? Listen to this. "Rob Tapert says he came up with the idea to
combine the Callisto storyline and Rift storyline when a swift kick to
the shin from a diminutive Callisto fanatic forced him into some
unexpected 'quiet time'." 

Erin: "Diminutive"? "Diminutive"?! He said "diminutive"?! That pissant,
I'm gonna go back and kill him.

<Hudson catches Erin by the arm as she starts to charge off. GC is still
trying to process the fact that a mere mortal referred to her as "the
Callisto storyline">

Hudson: Whoa, girl. <turns to Leicky> I think it's time we put a child
lock on the vault.

GC: What do you *mean*, you wouldn't kill anyone over a TV show?

<wavy flash-back-to-present-time lines>

Anyone who knows where that skit is adapted from knows there are no
better guys to turn to when it comes time to make fun of bad
entertainment. :-(

Erin Hunt
Your Friendly Neighborhood Psycho-blood-goddess-of-vengeance
Worshipper

==============================================================================

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"Xena: Warrior Princess" and some material copyright MCA/Universal.
Materials copyright their respective authors.
Send questions and comments to me, Kevin C. Wong (jahn@csua.berkeley.edu)
This page last updated: July 4, 2001.