From: Stephen Meeker <smeeker@cswnet.com>
Date: Tue Jul 07, 1998  12:57:54  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] <CRS> Sacrifice III: Stephen's Way
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: Stephen Meeker <smeeker@cswnet.com>

Disclaimer: This is all made up. If you get angry over fictional violence
toward Cirrans and Spice Girls, stop reading now.... Still reading? Good. 

<Scene: Stephen's apartment behind the museum. Stephen sits watching
Sacrifice II with his new captive, Ginger Spice>

TV: Xena: "Experience this!"

SM: SHUT UP! Can you be any more annoying!!

Ginger Spice: <muffled because of the gag in her mouth>

SM: Now what? <pauses tape> <Removes gag>

Ginger: Go Xena! Girl Power!!

SM: <Screams in anger> What have I told you about that phrase!

GS: Sorry, Master! <mumble>

SM: What was that?

GS: <dejectedly> Stephen Power.

SM: <pats her on the head> Good Spice Girl. Just wait till the world finds
out that you didn't leave the Spice Girls and I had you kidnapped. One
down, four to go! <maniacal laugh>

TV: Seraphin: Maybe that hasn't been revealed to me yet!

SM: Maybe you're too stupid to wear clothes that aren't dyed potato sacks.
Why would a well-dressed Goddess of Dahak want to tell that fashion victim
anything?

TV: GC: I never thought I could feel this good again!

SM: If you'd have tried those cookies I made you, Goddess... You could
barely taste the Prozac!

TV: Xena: No more living for you.

SM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! <rewind>

TV: Xena: No more living for you.

SM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! <rewind>

TV: Xena: No more living for you.

SM: This is wrong! Maybe the tape screwed up. That's it! The VCR garbled
the video... <picks up phone> Hudson? This is Stephen. No, I'm not selling
aluminum siding. No, no long-distance phone plans. No, not selling stuff.
Did you tape Sacrifice II? Good! May copy messed up. It made it look like
Xena killed the Goddess!

Hudson: ... Uhm.... She did. <takes phone away from ear>

SM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

<Man in Tibet: Do you hear that sound? Sounds like some one screaming.>

SM: <psychotic-er look in his eyes> Wait. It's no problem. We can rescue
her. No big deal. Where's Ginger Spice?

Hudson: What are you doing, Stephen?

SM: Same thing Seraphin did.

HHL: Wearing a pink potato sack?

SM: NO! Sacrificing a Priest of the Flesh and a Priest of the Blood. 

HHL: And you're using a Spice Girl?

SM: Sure. Why not? <muffled Spice Girl scream>

HHL: Never mind. Who's next?

SM: Dunno. I'll go get some volunteers. <hangs up>

<Scene: Street corner. Stephen keeps yelling "Priest of the Blood needed!
Great health benefits!">

SM: This SUCKS! No one wants to be a sacrifice!

Tartan Terror: I'll do it.

SM: Really?

TT: No. <walks off laughing>

SM: Grrrrr. Desperate times call for blunt weapons. <grabs a sack full of
doorknobs from passing member of the Vicious Circle>

SM: Terror! Look at this!

TT: What?

SM: <smack>

TT: <thud>

SM: <BEG>

<Scene: Stephen's apartment.>

SM: Come on, Goddess! Two sacrifices. Where's the cocoon?

GC: <appears in a flash of plaid> Goddess Power!

SM: <blank stare>

GC: Have you seen my Hudson Gallery? I updated it! Girl Power!

SM: <frightened stare>

GC: Spice up your life!

SM: <faints>

Moral of this story: Be careful who you sacrifice because you might get a
creepy hybrid of a Spice Girl and Nick, the Tartan Terror.

Disclaimer2: Tartan Terror was not harmed during the making of this skit.
Ginger Spice was deported to Neptune. The Goddess beat Stephen up for
making her act like a Spice Girl. Stephen was taken to Trancer for revival.
Trancer wasn't home. 

Disclaimer3: Stephen finally regained conciousness three days later. He's
okay now.

Stephen

==============================================================================

Web site copyright (c) 2001 Kevin C. Wong, All Rights Reserved.
"Xena: Warrior Princess" and some material copyright MCA/Universal.
Materials copyright their respective authors.
Send questions and comments to me, Kevin C. Wong (jahn@csua.berkeley.edu)
This page last updated: June 10, 2001.