From: Autumn Robertson <hudsons_rat_girl@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri Jun 11, 1999  06:21:27  US/Pacific
To: hleickables@onelist.com
Subject: Re: [hleickables] CRS: Part 24: CRS III - The Search for Michael
Reply-To: hleickables@onelist.com

From: Autumn Robertson <hudsons_rat_girl@yahoo.com>

Ahem

As NC Keeper of the Rats, I must say they certainly have been doing
they're job lately.  Therefore, amid the small hill of rat....stuff and
saw dust.  I write a little CRS

INT. RAT CAVE. DAY.

Rat Girl sits in front of her computer, spinning around in the cool
swivel chair.  The chariot music from RoC blares from speakers around
the room.  All the rats are spinning on their wheels.

RG: *still spinning*  Wanna go faster Xena hahahahahaha

HL:  *appears in the entrance of the cave, DP in hand*  ummmm Autumn,
are you all....right.

RG:  *chair slowly comes to a stop*  Yeah.  Ooo, Docter Pepper!  Wanna
have a burping contest?

HL: K. I've got nothin better to do.  *mutters*  won't release my new
movie will they.  Cuba Gudin can't say my name right, can he!

RG:  *BURP*

Meanwhile.....Club Pain continues to torture Heresy, only now are using
that comic strip as inspiration for new and exciting torture.

Little Hudson:  *sneezes on Heresy's forehead*  (what do you expect,
she's a rat)

Lady Callisto:  Put RG feet in jello, would you!  *tickles like there's
no tomorow*  You and your stoopid doorknobs!

Heresy: *blood curling scream*

-----------
soon  at Rat Girls Cave
-----


Iggy appears in the doorway.

Iggy:  Uggh (translation:  have you guys seen Heresy?)

RG: *BURP*  What makes you think I would want to torture and mame your
master?

Iggy:  EEEPPPP Urgh sffkkr  (translation:  I didn't say that)

HL:  *BURPS LOUDER*  Wanna join us Iggy?

Ig: *shrugs shoulders*  Narrghhhhhioioii shhioiooooiiom ikkkk
Narbalblahgoounick  (translation:  eh)


*Iggy procides in downing a can of DP and gives a burp that resounds
the very back of the cave and mingles with the echoes of RG and Hudson
cheering.*

FIN

GC:  *appears in a blaze of glory*  What the Hades was that
Autumn?!?!?!?!?!?!

A:  <blank stare>  *Burps*

==============================================================================

From: Callisto97@aol.com
Date: Fri Jun 11, 1999  10:55:31  US/Pacific
To: hleickables@onelist.com
Subject: Re: [hleickables] CRS: Part 24: CRS III - The Search for Michael
Reply-To: hleickables@onelist.com

From: Callisto97@aol.com

The Temple of Almighty Goddess Callisto....

The Holy Psalm of Macarena is blaring from dozens of speakers in every 
chamber and the High Priestess is kneeling before the huge statue of the 
Goddess...Well who else did you think it was in a white toga and a tangerine 
mohawk?!


GC: <walking through her temple, being careful not to trip on the orange 
extension cords laying everywhere> I'm going to have to get after that High 
Priest about his temple cleaning duties....now where is that Priestess of 
mine....

<Goddess finally finds Cal in front of the statue of Herself, but Cal can't 
hear Goddess shouting over the Macarena music...>

GC: <pulls the plug on the stereo system, then hears something buzzing>

CL: <buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz>

GC: <sneaks up behind Cal, who is busily shaving her head of the accursed 
mohawk, takes a deep breath and does her best battle scream>

CL: <Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....> <doesn't move or appear to notice>

GC: <too surprised to do anything but tap Cal on the shoulder>

CL: GREAT SPINNING VELASKA!!!!!! <leaps three feet in the air>

GC: <yanks the earplugs out of Cal's ears> I thought as much....

CL: <pantpantpant> Goddess...<pantpant> You <pant> scared me <pantpantpant>

GC: <smiles and polishes her nails on the BLMSBT> Yeah yeah yeah...I still 
got it! <sigh> <sees a picture of Pope John Paul II on the ground> Who's that?

CL: Oh! <drops the electric shaver on the ground and picks up the picture> 
It's just a picture of the Pope..thought I'd try a new look after The Bard 
butchered my hair...

GC: <blank stare>

CL: <holds the picture over her head and tears it up> Oh yeah..and I'm not 
cal anymore.....<horrible Irish accent> I'm Sinead

GC: <can't understand her> Huh?

CL: <louder> I've changed my name...I'm now Sinead, High Priestess of the 
Almighty Goddess

GC: Oooookaaaay.....<smiles and nods while making a mental note to have Cal 
see Gene>

CL: <crestfallen> You don't get it, do you? <puppy dog eyes>

GC: <can't resist the eyes> Oh, don't you worry..Auntie Callisto will make it 
all better...

CL: <smiling hopefully>

************************************************************************
45 minutes later..in the Temple basement.....

CL: <strapped in the chair from RoC> Goddess! Let me out! Please! I'll 
sacrifice that Xena-lovin' chick to you!! I promise!

GC: Now now my dear, don't struggle...that chair will give you peace if you 
let it! Just look what it did for me! <does a model turn>

CL: <stares at Goddess for a minute> MICHAEL!!!!!!!!!! GET ME OUT OF 
THIS!!!!!!!

GC: <gives Cal/Sinead a sympathetic look> I'll be back in a few weeks or so...

Hudson Leick: <suddenly appearing at Goddess's shoulder> Hey Cal! Nice 'do! 
<winks at the Priestess>

CL: Hey Hudson..wanna give me a <Goddess slams the door> hand? Guess 
not..<sighs> 

Little Hercules: squeak! <climbs up on her arm>

CL: <looking at the rat, her voice dreamy and sing-songy> This is all that 
bard's fault you know...and I'm going to pay her back for her kindness..soon, 
very soon...so run away like a good little Hercules...run away...run 
away....<tries to throw a dagger, but he arms are tied> Awww crap!

Soon to come........ Revenge of the High Priestess...with Special Guests Ice 
T and Mel Torme!

==============================================================================

Web site copyright (c) 2001 Kevin C. Wong, All Rights Reserved.
"Xena: Warrior Princess" and some material copyright MCA/Universal.
Materials copyright their respective authors.
Send questions and comments to me, Kevin C. Wong (jahn@csua.berkeley.edu)
This page last updated: July 3, 2001.