From: wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Tue Aug 11, 1998  12:29:53  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] <CRS> Assassin's guild
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: wight@axl.be (Wight)

On Tue, 11 Aug 1998 14:48:53 EDT, you wrote:

From: <Hebikamu@aol.com>

Ahhhh, I couldn't remember who told me that. Sorry. I was thinking about
trying to form a guild for assassin's. Gotta get permission, but in the
meantime, would you be interested in it?


<Wight sits at home, reading a letter carrying a bloodied knife
symbol, tradional sign of assassins everywhere>

W: A guild, they want me in a guild. What was that quote again ?

<GC appears, out of nowhere. Flames everywhere, but fortunately poor
old Wight was smart enough to remove everything flammable from his
tomb>

GC: "I wouldn't want to be in a club that'll have me for a member."

W: Yeah, that's the one. Thank you oh great Goddess (shameless sucking
up here>

GC: So what's this <GC snatches letter. An assassins guild ? And they
want you ? <GC starts laughing uncontrollably>

W: Hey, stop that ! I'll let you know I'm a very good assassin. I
haven't failed yet, ... well, not much anyway.

GC: Only because you always take at least twenty tries to get the job
done. If people could kill you, you'd never even succeed in a mission.

W: <hurt> Some use stealth, I use stubborness. What's your point ? 

GC: So how do you plan to make this little guild anyway. Last time I
checked, there are only two of you in town. 

W: Hmm, euuhh. We could, eeuuh, maybe train people, and eeuuh, you
know ... do stuff.

GC: Poor dear, the only thing you can train people in is how to die,
messy !!

W: <not amused> Very funny.

GC: Besides, you work for me.

W: Since when ????!!!

GC: Since I first told you to go kill someone.

W: Cool ! So what's the pay ?

GC: You get to keep your miserable unlive.

W: <I had to ask>

GC: So go on, write a letter saying you can't make it or something. I
don't care. Just as long as you remember you are my property.

W: Great, first I loose my teeth. Then I loose my freedom. I love this
town. <thinking about teeth> Say Goddess, you wouldn't happen to have
a dental plan for your employers would you ?

GC: Oh yes. It involves Heresy, and a great deal of drilling.

W: <gulp> Nevermind, I'm fine.

GC: Good, I'll make an appointement anyway. You can never be too
certain.

W: <not even surprised> Figures !!

GC: Nighty night <GC disappears, flames everywhere. Wight catches
fire. Runs through the tomb like a headless chicken for several
minutes. Finally dies and ressurects.>

W: And even after all this I still love that woman. Is there a shrink
somewhere around here ?

<Wight takes letter: starts scribbling>

Dear Mister Dark Soul. It is my pleasure to inform you that I have
received your letter and am very interested to hear your proposal. The
Goddess herself gave me her blessings to join such an enterprise, and
I look forward to your reply soon ...

<What can I say, I love it when the Goddess punishes me <g> >

:)

-Wight- 

==============================================================================

From: wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Thu Aug 13, 1998  08:05:55  US/Pacific
To: hudsonleick@onelist.com
Subject: [hudsonleick] <CRS> Assassin's guild, part 2
Reply-To: hudsonleick@onelist.com

From: wight@axl.be (Wight)


<Wight sits at his tomb, watching this pamphlet> 

(yeah I know, I don't get out much. When nine hundreth years old you
reach, look as good you will not, hmm ? Ooops, forgot that last part,
wrong universe)

<GC appears, again>

(in case some of you are wondering, why does GC appear in a tomb in
the middle of nowhere so many times.n The thing is, after she found
out she can inflict any sort of punishment on it's poor occupant, with
no danger of permanently harming him, she choose the tomb as her new
test site for torture experiments. Hey, why do you think I'm so
twisted anyway ? )

GC: What's this ? <grabs pamphlet, reads it> An assassins guild.
Wight, didn't I telll you NOT to be part of a guild !! <angry stare>

W: I have nothing to do with this, my queen. It's all Dark souls fault
(note the use of one of the assassin's most subtle weapons: blame
someone else)

GC: Don't try that old blame someone else trick on me little skeleton.
You expect me to believe that you, as this town's eldest resident
assassins are not involved in this ?

W: <shaking head rapidly> Not me, not me. They took me completely out
of the loop. All I did was come up with the idea. You know, kids these
days.

GC: <doesn't really belive it, but sees an excellent chance to hurt
Wight's pride <no pun)>. See, I told you they wouldn't want you in a
club, you poor little excuse for a killer.

W: Yeah well, at least I'm smart enough not to go galavanting to town
with pamphlets. Assassin's guilds are supposed to be secret, you know.
Open only to a select few. This is like Bruce Lee opening up martial
arts schools. It'll never work.

GC: Didn't Bruce Lee succeed in that.

W: Ooops, never mind.

GC: So you are not joining this guild.

W: Do I have a choice ?

GC: <grabs Wight's left leg and janks it loose> No !! Snaps fingers
and a huge black dog appears.

DOG: <Watches leg intently, saliva starts dripping from it's tongue.

W: OK, OK, anything but that, please !!

GC: Good boy <throws leg back to Wight, who reconnects it with a yell
of pain>

GC: Crybaby.

W: <growls, then realizes who stands before him, and, not knowing what
else to do, keeps on growling, as if to imitate the dog.>

GC: Hey, that's not bad, you should do that more often !

W <to himself> Figures !!

GC: <materializes leach out of nowhere.> Here doggie doggie doggie.


:)

-Wight-
Cirra's resident undead assassin, who keeps muttering about young
people setting up guilds without seeing him first :)


Just kidding.

==============================================================================

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Send questions and comments to me, Kevin C. Wong (jahn@csua.berkeley.edu)
This page last updated: June 10, 2001.