From: wight@axl.be (Wight)
Date: Fri Apr 12, 1996  05:01:41  US/Pacific
To: hudson-leick@hera.ecs.csus.edu
Subject: <CRS> Capital Offense (was: Re: Heresy from the DoN forum)


NOTE: the following is for entertainement purposes only. I do not in
fact want to see the person that wrote this dead (anymore then the
next person, that is), nor do I blame him for voicing his opinion (he
could've used a bit more tact, but then again, no one's perfect ...
except for Hudson ofcourse :)

<scene: Wight wandering around the graveyard. His companion, a small
shadow creature named Bigbad, is holding Herery's dental records which
have been stolen from the dentist's office>

W: <Mumbing> Damn Heresy, think you could just take my teeth away eh ?
Just wait till I get my hands on you.

W:<turning towards one of the graves> Bigbad, what about this one ?

BB: Hands Wight the dental records. They show the occupant of this
particular grave to have a full set of ... rotten teeth.

W: Yuck. Next. 

<the two wander over to the next grave>

W: What's this <checks dental records> Fangs !!! Kewl. Looks like we
have a winner.

BB: <kicks Wight's leg>

W: Hey, what's your problem. Oh I see, this creature was five meters
tall. I guess the teeth wouldn't fit eh ?

<After a while, Wight finally finds a suitable corpse>

W: Great. New teeth at last. <Chanting, waving arms> Acrum, Necros,
Tefgron, Halum. Rise creature of Death, serve your master.

<A demonic creature suddenly appears next to Wight>

Demon: Aaaaarghh

Wight: Aaaaaarrrghh

BB: <squeeek>

W: Who the hell are you ? What are you doing here ?

D: You summoned me you nitwit.

W: <appaled> I did no such thing !!!

D: Yes you did. You chanted Halum instead of Haslum. Idiot !!

W: Crap. You wouldn't happen to have any teeth on you would you ?

D: <blank stare>

W: Ok ok, so what's your name.

D: My name is Black

W: <laughing> Black !! What kind of a ridiculous name is that !!

D: <annoyed> What's your name then ?

W: Wight !

D: And you think my name's ridiculous ???

W: No, not white ... Wight. Double you, eye, gee, age, tea. Wight.

D: <blank stare> At least I can spell.

W: <mumbling something about stupid demons> So now what ??

D: I have a message for you.

W: But you said I summoned you, how can you have a message for me if I
conjured you by accident.

D: <shrugs> Goddesses', give them the ability to manipulate time and
space and you have a recipy for disaster.

W: <excited> A message from the Goddess ???

D: Yep, she wants you to go to Hudson's home, right now.

W: Ok, going, going, gone <Wight turns around>

D: Not like that you idiot. <Demon grabs Wight and teleports him over
to the home of Hudson>

<scene: Griller, Cal, Hudson and the Goddess are waiting at Hudson's
residence. Wight appears, slighty dazed and confused.>

GR: Greetings Wight.

GC: About time.

W: Huh  ?<being teleported against your will has that effect on
people>

GC: Griller, hit him. I think he needs a little wake up call.

W: <miraciously recovered> Wait ... wait. I'm ok.

GR: <hits Wight anyway>

W: Ouch ! <setting jaw back in place> My Goddess wanted to see me ?

GC: No I didn't.

GR: Wight, you are here because you are the town's resident assassin.

W: Oh ?

GC: We have a job for you.

W: <flashback to long ago> Ok ok, which toilets do you want me to
clean ??

GC, GR and HL: <blank stare>

W: <suddenly remembering where he is> Ooops, never mind that. My
former master thought that was funny.

GC: <to  Cal> Make a note of that. We can use that in the future.

GR: No, we want you to assassinate someone.

W: <practically jumping up and down> Really ??? <then suddenly
remembering he has to stay cool> Errr, Really ?

GR: This person has breached one of our most sacred laws, a crime
which is punishable by immediate execution.

CAL: Hands Wight the 'Heresy from the DoN forum' note.

W: <Reading> Hmm. What crime did this person commit ?

CAL: Thou shalt not slander or insult the Goddess in any way.

W: But this note is about ... ahh, never mind. Why not use the vicious
cicle or something. This seems right up their alley.

GR: Yes, but we needed the best. Unfortunately, the best wasn't
available, so we looked at the second best, but she wasn't available
either, neither was the third, the fourth, the ...

W: <irritated> OK OK. I get the picture.

CAL: Besides, you are not listed as a resident of New Cirra, so if you
fail we can still avoid an international incident.

W: <his pride hurting> Me ? Fail ? That's a good one. Well, my fee is
a thousand dinars. Or, if you have them, ... raw materials.

HL: Yuck. Do we really have to use this ... thing ?

GR: Yes.  <quoting> If one person gets away with disobeying orders,
the others will get ideas.

HL: <annoyed> Don't steal my lines !!

GC: <to Wight> How about I just let you live instead ?

W: <gulps> Or ... you can just let me live instead.

GC: Good boy.

GR: No, get going. You have five days to complete your mission. After
that, you will self-destruct.

W: <blank stare>

GR: No, I'm serious.

W: Great. Say, do any of you happen to have a spare set of teeth ??

..........

-Wight-
Who happens to like Hudson's breasts :)

..........

*Paf, bong, boem*

HL: Don't even bother Trancer, let him suffer for a while.

==============================================================================

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