The itinerant
warrior just stared at her and gulped. "Well, don't
just sit there with your mouth open like an indolent fool. Get up and
sit over here," commanded Callisto as she motioned to a smaller rock
next to hers. Joxer stood up, rattling a bit as he did so. "And put
away your sword before you stab yourself with it," she added.
Joxer put away his sword after two unsuccessful tries while
Callisto watched him intently. She stopped smiling and with an
exasperated sigh motioned him to hurry up. He slowly walked over to the
nearby rock and sat down facing her. Joxer was still shaking a little
so he took a few deep breaths to calm down.
Callisto just
looked at him, but she wasn't focused on him. 'Probably trying to
figure how gruesome and totally inappropriate my death should be,'
mused Joxer morbidly. 'Callisto's awfully quiet. I wonder how painful
it'll be. Hope I don't scream too much.'
The psychotic beauty bent down and rested her elbows on her knees. She
interlaced her fingers and used her outstretched thumbs to support her
chin. Staring through her timorous companion, she thought for a long
minute or two while Joxer started fidgeting on his rock. Callisto
decided to interrupt the awkward silence. "So, nice weather for this
time of year, don't you think?" she commented with a deadpan delivery.
Joxer gaped at Callisto. "Er, what? I mean, yes, it is a nice day and
all with the sun shining and only a few clouds in the sky. I think Fall
will be coming soon though and then it'll get colder and it'll be
harder to travel from town to town doing good deeds.. and... all."
Joxer noticed that she was glaring at him and stopped talking.
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She smiled
again. 'Callisto sure is happy today,' he opined to himself. 'Oh no,
maybe she's already gotten to Xena and Gabby! Maybe they're tied up in
a cave and they need my help. The help that only a brave and talented
warrior such as myself can provide.'
"Joxer..."
'But first I have to figure out her plan,' continued Joxer to his
favorite audience. 'Maybe I should just subdue her and force her to
tell me where they are. But mom said never hit a woman. Maybe it'd be
ok with Callisto since she's a former warlord. Perhaps I should use my
dazzling wit to trick her...'
"Joxer!" exclaimed the slim blonde for the second time as she realized
that his mind was wandering away. Callisto startled the would-be hero
out of his ruminations. She counted to five and slowly exhaled. "Try to
stay focused as if your life depended on it, because it does." She
flashed him a smile, though Joxer sensed that she was deadly serious.
She thought about what she was going to say next while Joxer waited
nervously, obviously paying more attention now. "Joxer," Callisto
began, "I want you to be my sidekick."
"Er, what?" was all the flabbergasted sidekick-to-be could say.
"You don't have much of a vocabulary, do you?" she quipped. "Listen,
now that I'm a mortal again I've been thinking about my previous
battles with Xee-nah." Joxer noted that the former Goddess had a bit of
difficulty saying the Warrior Princess' name. She drew out the name and
made it into a sneer.
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