On Saturday Eric, Chris, Woo and I went to see Dungeons & Dragons. Now at that point there was some buzz that it was a bad movie, so we weren't really expecting anything great. Even with those reduced expectations, it was still a bad movie. Not that we didn't enjoy it, but only because we were laughing so much at it and we could kibitz.

First off I guess I should say that Sweetpea (which produced the movie) did not license anything but the D&D name. Eric said something about whoever ran TSR wanting too much additional money for say, the Forgotten Realms. So the movie is set in some made up land of Izmer which is a run-of-the-mill fantasy land.

Perhaps because of the above, there are few of what I consider "D&D elements" in the movie. There are red and gold dragons, but they seem rather stupid and an even match. Only a few spells are used in the movie: fireball, wall of ice, a portal spell, some lightning spell, a divination spell. Not that many monsters were used: the dragons in the climatic battle, a couple of beholders seen at a distance for less than 15 seconds, some orcs and other humanoid races in a cantina scene. But the main villains and antagonists are humans.

Too many scenes and plot elements seemed to come from the Star Wars movies. Now, those movies weren't all that original in the first place, but they borrowed from lesser known works so most people didn't notice. Borrowing from the Star Wars movies, which everyone has seen, means that people *will* notice the common elements: the elf (Ewok) village, the magic sword and sword fight, the Empress talking to the council of wizards (straight out of Episode 1), the Jar-jar Binks character.

Most of that I could have forgiven if at least the movie had been more D&D like. They finally get the adventuring party together towards the end of the movie but they never use it. The dreaded "maze" (about the only "dungeon" in the movie) is really a straight-line set of three tests. The stupid-looking plastic wands that control dragons aren't the Orbs of Dragonkind. No magic missiles, no spell memorization, no clerics to speak of.

Acting was ok. Justin Whalin and Zoe McLellan did a fine job as the two protagonists, the Rogue Ridley and Mage Marina. Marlon Wayans was an appropriately annoying as Snails, Ridley's friend. There are also an elven ranger and a dwarven fighter but they don't get many lines. Jeremy Irons plays Profion, the evil mage bent on taking over the Empire. It's quite an over-the- top performance and what the heck is it with Profion's lisp? Bruce Payne is Damodar, a captain of the royal guard in the employ of Profion and partial to blue lipstick. Dave Arneson makes a cameo role but since I don't know what he looks like I totally missed it. Tom Baker is in one scene as the King of the Elves. Thora Birch plays Empress Savina in a rather Queen Amidala copycat portrayal.

Still, I did enjoy the movie. It's just so overdone in some places and so ridiculous in others that I couldn't help but laugh. When Snails dies (yeah, so I spoiled it for you) and Ridley gives out that impressive "NOOOO!" scream (reminding me of Obi-Wan Kenobi in The Phantom Menace) it just seemed really stupid. They kill Snails just to be different, but the way he dies is kind of pointless. He almost makes a heroic sacrifice, but in the end Snails didn't have to die at all.

I'll make this recommendation: if you see Dungeons & Dragons, go see it with a bunch of friends and don't be afraid to kibitz and poke fun at it. Don't go in expecting the movie to reflect the kind of adventures that you've been gaming in for years. In fact, just go in and expect a subpar fantasy movie with good special effects (and they were good, it just would have been nice if they spent money on a good writer and a better director). Sweetpea also has the movie rights to Traveller, and I hope they never do anything with it.