Aubrin,
Drake, and Forticulus at a Secret Meeting of the Elders...
Aubrin (AU):
Meeting will come to order. So what's new guys?
Drake (DR): Viator
and your girl friend found out the French grogs' secret.
AU: You mean the
thing with the goats? I say it's high time to put a couple of grogs on
the rack to warn the others. We can't have this kind of unholy sexual
activity in this covenant.
Forticulus (FO):
That would be inadvisable, Sir. Your popularity rating would plummet.
AU: Rats! I never
get to do any of the fun stuff to the covenant folk.
DR: Anyway. I'm
talking about the Cathar thing.
AU: Oh, who cares
what they worship? They can worship Bleety the Goat God for all I care.
As long as they don't sleep with it -- that's just unnatural.
DR: {Mutters} Sure, coming from
the father of half the townsfolk.
AU: You got
something to tell me in the face?
DR: Why do you
always get to sleep with all the hot babes?
AU: What are you
talking about?
DR: That faerie
princess with the radiant eyes.
AU: What, her?
She's a b*tch. A real ice queen. Not very good in the hay, if you know
what I mean. I don't know what Michelle sees in her.
DR: I'm talking
about the Faerie Lady of Flames.
AU: Oh, that one.
Hey, she came on to me. I didn't ask for it. Really, if you want to
sleep with her, I don't mind.
DR: You don't even
know her name!
AU: Geez. There're
so many. That's why I call them "Dear". "Yes, Dear", "Hello Dear". Much
easier than remembering their names.
DR: Fraxima.
AU: Gesundheit.
DR: Idiot! That's
her name! Fraxima!
AU: Oh ho. So you
have a thing for the spooky girl? Bet it really gets in your craw that
she chose me instead of you. She's a wild one in bed...
DR: I'll kill you! {Lunges at Aubrin}
Aubrin and Drake struggle on the floor.
FO: Calm down, Sirs.
DR: {To Forticulus} You on his
side too? Ok, then! I'll take you both on! {Tackles Forticulus}
A few minutes later...
AU: {Black eye} Right then.
Next order of business.
DR: {Hand heavily bandaged}
Berengarius had that fish thing killed.
AU: Isn't he not
supposed to do that? Some rule about not killing pets or something?
|
FO:
{Bloody nose}
There are thirty-three laws in the Peripheral Code pertaining to
animals and familiars, Sir. Six of them deal with death and injury
pertaining to the aforementioned subject, be it accidental or
intentional...
AU: {Interrupts} A simple yes
or no would suffice.
FO: Yes, Sir.
AU: So what does
surveillance have to report.
DR: Apparently,
Berengarius
arranged for the it to be killed and have the blame placed on the
lions. He then erased his short term memory so he could safely deny
knowing anything about it.
AU: Again with that
tactic?
Every generation some smart-alec punk thinks he's found out a new way
to get away with things! Not as if the Order hasn't seen these things
time and time again.
FO: {Looks in the "Book of Elder
Knowledge (Keep Out Of Reach of Young Mages)"} Reclaim the
Memories Lost is easy to cast Sir, or we can do the ol' Eyes of the
Past, or...
AU: {Interrupts} Yeah,
whatever. {To Drake}
Have surveillance assign a team on him. I don't care about the fish,
but that one should be more closely monitored.
DR: Sure.
AU: Anyways. How
many mages do we have now?
DR: Too many.
FO:
Twelve, including us, Sir.
AU: An unlucky
number. We need to prune a few mages off. What have we been doing to
remedy the situation?
DR: Other than the
Giant Beaver
episode, we have not been able to arrange "unfortunate accidents" for
any of the others. They're quite adept at getting out of trouble. Our
agents are arranging a few more "adventures" that may pay off.
AU: This is too
slow! Ah, for the days of the Shadow Flambeau! That was a brilliant
plan, if I do say so myself.
FO: A masterpiece
of manipulation, Sir.
DR: Hey, I helped
too. {To Forticulus}
Brown noser.
FO: Err, quite
right sir.
AU: Whatever. We
should do something like that again.
FO: Sir, I'm afraid
that
another such culling would arouse too much suspicion from the other
covenants. Perhaps in another hundred years or so...
AU: Ah, heck. I'll
be on my
fourth body by then. Well, have our agents continue as per their
standard orders. Anything else to report?
DR: I received a
message from the Old Ones. They agree in principle to our proposal, but
they take issue with the details.
AU: Forward their
message to me. I'll take a look at it later. Gentlemen, I think that's
enough for today. Dismissed.
[END] |