BarbWyre (BW): ((Turning around)) Don't be calling me a peasant you-iihh! Goddess! I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was you! (PleaseDon'tKillMe).

GC: ((Smiling)) I'll count to 10 and I then better not see you. 1...2...3-4-5-6-7...

BW: ((Scrambles out of theatre))

GC: ((To Leicky)) See. You just have to ask nicely.

LK: Thank you Yogi ((Sits down)).

GC: ((Deep ursine voice)) Your welcome Boo-Boo.

LK: BarbWyre left her program guide behind ((starts reading)).

The Bitter Suite Preforming Arts Center, with the gracious help of the Callistopolitan Opera, is proud to present the Opera "The Barber of New Cirra".

COUNT ALMAVIVA......Wight
DOCTOR BARTOLO......Michael Rudy
ROSINA..............Trancer
FIGARO..............Bello

LK: (What a strange choice of cast) Do you want to know who's in it?

GC: And spoil the ending? I think not. What's the play called?

LK: "The Barber of New Cirra"

GC: We don't have any barbers.

LK: What about the Supercuts at the Mall?

GC: They keep telling me they're "hair stylists". Like my hair doesn't have any style! I think it's quite good, don't you?

LK: (It's better than in "Maternal Instinct")

GC: I keep telling you that was a fashion statement! Those Ancient Greeks wouldn't have recognize a fashion trend if it had come up and tap danced in front of them!

Curtain comes up. Count Almaviva (Wight) enters and starts serenading outside Rosina's window. She doesn't come out.

Wight (WI): Ecco ridente in cielo Spunta la bella aurora, E tu non sorgi ancora E puoi dormir cosi?

GC: What's that caterwauling?

LK: He's singing.

GC: He sounds like a dying hippopotamus!

LK: At lease he's trying.

Figaro (Bello) comes in, singing his signature song.

Bello (BE): La ran la lera, La ran la la. Largo al factotum Della citta. Presto a bottega, Che l'alba e gia.